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I do have a friend who shot a pink salmon up in Alaska but he was using a .45 and obliterated the fish.
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He said he scratched the injury with his finger and the bullet fell out of his head in the river," the report states.


Trying to picture this is making my breakfast churn.

6
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Trying to picture this is making my breakfast churn.

Anatomical details don't usually add much to the baseline churn induced by skimming Daily Zero reader comments in the first place, for me.
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I do have a friend who shot a pink salmon up in Alaska but he was using a .45 and obliterated the fish.



Why is he your friend?
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I do have a friend who shot a pink salmon up in Alaska but he was using a .45 and obliterated the fish.



Why is he your friend?



I hate fish
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Why is he your friend?
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I hate fish




They speak highly of you.
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I do have a friend who shot a pink salmon up in Alaska but he was using a .45 and obliterated the fish.

So he completely wasted another living thing's life? What a jackass.
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So he completely wasted another living thing's life? What a jackass.
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I get this a lot.

joey, employer
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I do have a friend who shot a pink salmon up in Alaska but he was using a .45 and obliterated the fish.

So he completely wasted another living thing's life? What a jackass.


Maybe the salmon was taking hostile action against the shooter. I hate salmon, they just look at you with those cold dead eyes, particularly when they are looking up at you from the display case. Creepy.

Maybe he wanted to add nutrients to the stream where he shot the salmon.

Maybe he wanted to protect the krill that the salmon so thoughtlessly kill by not living a vegan lifestyle. Some of us do care about the krill, you know. It's easy to care about the cuddly animals or the majestic ones like the salmon, but who cares about the krill? Don't they have a right to exist? I have not even mentioned that herring and pelagic amphipods that may have been saved by the justified killing of this swimming slaughterhouse.

As for why he is friends with the guy, we all should have that one person whose sole role in our lives is to do things that provide good stories for the rest of us, much like my "friend" Jose Curevo, although if he doesn't stop kicking my ass I may have to stop hanging out with him.
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