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Author: ThyPeace Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 45138  
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/10/2012 8:34 PM
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So if you can't convince the victim to protect himself or herself, sometimes you can work with them through love, to protect the abuser from further abuse that worsens the self-hatred and guilt. It is a terrible and frightening journey for everyone involved. But sometimes it actually works.

That's a pretty delicate dance. You need to be careful not to reinforce the abusers assertion that the victim is responsible for being abused. Or that if they would just be a better person, the abuser wouldn't have to hit them.

You're so right about that. I should have said two more things. The first is that if you can get the victim to get professional help, that is always by far the very best option.

The second is that when you talk to someone about it, you have to convince them that the thing that must do out of love is to remove themselves from the abuser's reach so that the abuser can no longer do harm -- that this is the greatest act of love that they can give the abuser, and that it must stand until the abuser can get treatment. All to prevent further harm, all out of love.

In the years that I studied this stuff, I learned about love, lust, attachment, addiction, abuse, marriage, divorce, and a lot about people in general. The very best part was learning a little about compassion, which has been truly remarkable. Compassion is so powerful, and so necessary, and so very hard to do, and yet so amazing. It brought me some peace in the middle of complete chaos, and allowed me to help people whom I otherwise would not have been able to help.

ThyPeace, has much more to learn about being compassionate. It's a lifelong study.
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