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So why should I really care? They live in a completely different area of the country and we don't interact a lot. But this family event (a wedding) will expose the new members to this crap and I really don't want the new in-laws to think we are all like that. Unfortunately, the general culture of non-confrontation means that others won't speak up.

If you happen to be in an area where the new inlaws are gathered and this person starts in with his line of BS, just smile at them, shrug your shoulders and tell them "You know, he just hasn't been the same since the accident" and then walk away. That way they get that you don't believe in what he's spouting, but you keep it from becoming hostile.

BTW: you mentioned that you were surprised that they have such strong feelings, given that they live in a pretty non-diverse area. I'm not at all surprised. Most people have a harder type sterotyping if they actually have interactions with the people they disparage.

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