@SandyBoynton Looking for your signature Holiday scent? May I recommend Eau Tannenbaum.

@lianamaeby I wonder what I'm accidentally saying in sign language every time I take a sip of coffee that's too hot.

@Kyle_Lippert I wrote a haiku. But then I gave up on it. Haikus are way hard.

@comedybot The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you'll never be as good as a wall. -Mitch Hedberg

@juliasegal If #CookieMonster wrote a book under a different name, would that be considered a nom,nom,nom de plume?

@wrobertswriter Just in case someone tries to kidnap me, I'm trying to develop a tolerance for chlorofo

@DavidKlein5 Fighting a lion is on my bucket list but I should probably make it the last thing.

@juliussharpe The main reason I don't like Greek yogurt is all the hair.

@SamGrittner If I lived in Biblical Times, all I would do is start Smite Clubs.

@robbaedeker My dream date? Candlelight dinner, walk on beach, orca drags you out to sea, I sit down in the warm sand & read New Yorker.