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in my livejournal:


~~~

I murdered myself today.

And when the blood stopped running, and the noise went away, and the world stopped shimmering, there was only one of me left.


The evil bastard is dead. The good guy won. For the first time in 10 years, the me that was the caring, compassionate, humanist, the guy that always put everyone else first...he is no longer locked in a non-ending battle with the evil that had started within and grown until it was on the surface and the good was within...


I slew him. some things happened, and it all fell into place. That guy wasn't me, he was the avatar of bad things, growing from the nature of what is a tiny piece of all men into an uncontrollable animal of lust and avarice.


But really, there was no blood. noise and a blurry reality, yes...he didn't like letting go. But in the end, I looked at myself, knew what I originally had been, knew what I wanted to become, and I banished him.

I feel kind of sick right now, but it's the toxins in my system and the knowledge of the things I have done in the past decade. Hopefully, people can forgive while I do whatever I can to make things right.
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heh.

that was post 42, one of the only milestones i observe
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what a stupid username
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the audience agrees :)
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