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sometimes I turn to poets or essayists for help: this came to mind when I read your sad post. I am sorry that you and she are struggling now to maintain a comforting relationship.

" An honorable human relationship - that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love" -- is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.
It is important to do this because in so doing we do justice to our own complexity.
It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us."

noted in 1993, quoted from Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying (1975)

Yes, you are to be commended for helping this person, but you do want to spend time with people who nurture you.

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