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Sounds like in your particular case, not loosing a husband in Iraq, for instance, or even splitting after agreeing to have a baby together, that you, alone, personally CHOSE to take on having a baby and raising him alone. Entirely your choice ... no one elses. You would not have "had" to do it. You "have to do it" now because that's the choice you consciously made. So ... no 'unfortunate force of circumstances' involved. Just an adults choice to move forward with a major undertaking alone.

Yes, it was entirely my choice to have my son after his father walked out on me. I've never pretended otherwise; it doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated and needing to vent sometimes. At no point did I say that I "had" to do it; I did not claim there were "unfortunate circumstances" involved. Just because his father is a self-centered ass and chooses to not be there doesn't mean I am cut from the same cloth.

I don't know if you intended your post to sound as harsh and insensitive as it did; that's one of the downfalls of written communication. Please understand that I believe it was clear that I was venting, I am fully aware of my choice and even though I know how difficult is (and knew when I made my decision how difficult it would be), I would still choose to have my son regardless. I am an intelligent adult and well-prepared to take care of him in every way, emotionally, physically, fiscally and spiritually.

Having said that, there is nothing in this world that says I must be a paragon of virtue at every moment simply because I chose to have my child rather than abort him or give him up for adoption. There are days when I am tired of being the only parent, when I want to share the joys of him with someone who understands, when I want to rage at his father but don't because theoretically he may one day wish to develop a relationship with this child he so callously abandoned.

Just so you know, it wasn't a one-night fling or even a casual relationship. We had been together for five years and HE was talking about marriage. I came to this board to vent because I thought other single parents might understand how difficult it is to be the only one to know that joy of your child. It doesn't mean that my frustrations are any less valid than anyone else's just because he walked out on me while I was pregnant with his child rather than dying in a firefight in Iraq.

All the best to you and your son.

Thanks, the Chunky Monkey is my joy! ;-)


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