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Author: goodstuf3 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 13841  
Subject: Re: Work frustrations Date: 1/19/2003 2:51 PM
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Speaking of mistakes made at work - for my first post on this board - may I offer a collection from Scott Adams, of "Dilbert" fame ?

rue Tales of Induhviduals
--------------------------

Here are some true tales of Induhviduals as reported by DNRC
members.

--

A friend was sitting in history class at his university, waiting
for the professor to arrive. He heard a guy behind him talking to
one of his friends, saying, "Hey, I wonder if Christmas would ever
fall on Friday the 13th."

--

We upgraded everyone in the office to Microsoft Office XP, and
since then a particular In-duh-vidual has blamed the upgrade for
everything that has gone wrong with her computer. She even accused
the software upgrade of shortening her mouse cord. It turns out she
just got new bifocals and was sitting farther from her computer
than usual.

--

I asked my manager, "What is Karen's last name?" My manager
replied, "Karen who?"

--

I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into
small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader
possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing
Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar
coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal,
known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership
qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not
elephants."

--

I was on the phone asking directions on how to get to an
Induhvidual's business:


Me: I'll be driving on I-95. Is your company east
or west of the interstate?

Induhvidual: It depends on which direction you're driving.

--

I work at a large hospital. A few years ago, an employee dressed
as Mrs. Santa and visited the children's ward. Unfortunately, this
was the day she was downsized. She returned to work where she was
summoned to the VP of Operations, who gave her the news that her
services were no longer needed. She packed her desk and left the
building, still in costume.

--

My team was giving a demo of the latest version of our software to
the visiting French upper management team. One of the French
executives asked if a particular feature was implemented according
to the specifications. I replied, "Yes, well, at least according to
the spec du jour." We had a good chuckle, then my boss looked right
at the French executive and said, "That means 'of the day.'"

Did I mention that our visitors were from France?

--

Overheard in an elevator:

Induhvidual 1: "Wow, it's going to be 24 degrees tonight.
That's sub-zero!"

Induhvidual 2: "It's below sub-zero!"

Induhvidual 1: "That's what sub-zero means: below zero."

--

Seen next to a water dispenser with a large jug of bottled water:
"Employees are forbidden to use the bottled water to make coffee."
So it's okay to just DRINK the water, but if you have the audacity
to run it through a bunch of coffee grounds and THEN drink it,
you're in a world of hurt.

--

The day before the latest stamp price hike, a cow-orker announced
she was going to the post office to stock up on stamps before they
raised the prices. Note: she just completed her MBA.

--

My university just published a new class schedule. There isn't
enough room on the schedule for full names so we end up with
interesting abbreviations. I was looking through the Psychology
section, when I noticed a course that I assume is really
Psychological Assessment II. But it was listed as "Psycho Asses
II."


Best wishes,
-goodstuff
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