Speaking of mistakes made at work - for my first post on this board - may I offer a collection from Scott Adams, of "Dilbert" fame ?rue Tales of Induhviduals--------------------------Here are some true tales of Induhviduals as reported by DNRCmembers.--A friend was sitting in history class at his university, waitingfor the professor to arrive. He heard a guy behind him talking toone of his friends, saying, "Hey, I wonder if Christmas would everfall on Friday the 13th."--We upgraded everyone in the office to Microsoft Office XP, andsince then a particular In-duh-vidual has blamed the upgrade foreverything that has gone wrong with her computer. She even accusedthe software upgrade of shortening her mouse cord. It turns out shejust got new bifocals and was sitting farther from her computerthan usual.--I asked my manager, "What is Karen's last name?" My managerreplied, "Karen who?"--I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken intosmall groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leaderpossesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossingAlps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminarcoordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal,known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadershipqualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, notelephants."--I was on the phone asking directions on how to get to anInduhvidual's business: Me: I'll be driving on I-95. Is your company east or west of the interstate?Induhvidual: It depends on which direction you're driving. --I work at a large hospital. A few years ago, an employee dressedas Mrs. Santa and visited the children's ward. Unfortunately, thiswas the day she was downsized. She returned to work where she wassummoned to the VP of Operations, who gave her the news that herservices were no longer needed. She packed her desk and left thebuilding, still in costume. --My team was giving a demo of the latest version of our software tothe visiting French upper management team. One of the Frenchexecutives asked if a particular feature was implemented accordingto the specifications. I replied, "Yes, well, at least according tothe spec du jour." We had a good chuckle, then my boss looked rightat the French executive and said, "That means 'of the day.'" Did I mention that our visitors were from France?--Overheard in an elevator:Induhvidual 1: "Wow, it's going to be 24 degrees tonight. That's sub-zero!"Induhvidual 2: "It's below sub-zero!"Induhvidual 1: "That's what sub-zero means: below zero."--Seen next to a water dispenser with a large jug of bottled water:"Employees are forbidden to use the bottled water to make coffee." So it's okay to just DRINK the water, but if you have the audacityto run it through a bunch of coffee grounds and THEN drink it,you're in a world of hurt.--The day before the latest stamp price hike, a cow-orker announcedshe was going to the post office to stock up on stamps before theyraised the prices. Note: she just completed her MBA.--My university just published a new class schedule. There isn'tenough room on the schedule for full names so we end up withinteresting abbreviations. I was looking through the Psychologysection, when I noticed a course that I assume is reallyPsychological Assessment II. But it was listed as "Psycho AssesII." Best wishes,-goodstuff
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