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Author: epona4 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 974  
Subject: Stressing Date: 9/28/2006 1:45 PM
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Well, thought I'd come here with my frustration and maybe get some advice. I also know that I am going to be whining a bit. And that if I'd post this anywhere but here I'd get "Suck it up and stop being a baby. Mom's work full time all the time and don't complain about it."

Until last year, I'd been a SAHM since '94. Last year our youngest went off to 1st grade and I had a full day to myself.

I'd debated a while on whether I should try to find a PT job or not. DH and I weighed the pros and cons. The extra income...between $400-$600 a month...would help.(but is not needed. But it has been helping pay our debts down a little faster) I would get out of the house and start dealing with actual adults. I'd also be doing something for "me".

So, I got a job at Sbux. Pay is better than min. wage. 401K, stock options. Health care if I ever needed it. And lots and lots of free coffee.

Well, a year later...I am having second thoughts. OK...I've been having them since last winter.

I hate not being able to stay home with the kids if they are sick. (Jim had to call off work last year. And when the older two were sick, they had to stay home by themselves.)

Another BIG issue is right now Jim is spending his weekdays in Boston and only home on the weekends. (and it looks like it will continue well into Dec) I finally told work that I couldn't work on Sat. anymore. (I figured why not? Half the people have down that they can't work on Sunday's because of church.) I am always scheduled for an 8 hour day on Sunday. By the time I get home, I'm done for the day.

With him being gone, I am the only one to shuttle kids around to soccer, choir, drama, gymnastics. So, between working (only part time, mind you) and running around, not much else is getting done. (BUT...to be completely honest, even before I started working, I was never a great housekeeper.) It just seems to be getting worse now.

Another issue is being able to visit our family. They are 2 hours away and we just don't go and see them anymore. And that is rather difficult. (we are really close to DH's family) And the holidays...it's retail. We don't get days off like a lot of corprate jobs do. Between Thanksgiving, Christmas eve, NYeve and NYday we have to sign up to work on 3 of those. (not sure how they are going to do it this year. They will be open on Christams, too.)

Part of me feels that I am in some ways neglecting my kids. And another part of me feels "I'm teaching them about responsibility." Yet I don't think I am being irresponsible if I decided to become a SAHM again. Or am I?

b
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Author: CindyC72 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 950 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/28/2006 1:58 PM
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Yet I don't think I am being irresponsible if I decided to become a SAHM again. Or am I?

I don't think it's irresponsible at all. If you can swing it, do it.

Cindy

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Author: Fers Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 951 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/29/2006 4:43 PM
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Just the fact that you obviously care, means that you are not irresponsible. Sounds like becoming a SAHM might be the thing to do. You can return to work later.

I'm sure you're aware about how fast they grow up!

My oldest is a senior! I do not regret quitting work when he was 6. Not at all.

Best,

Jen

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Author: foolishphoebe One star, 50 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 952 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/29/2006 7:01 PM
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As the Mom of two teens, who has always worked, I say go for it! You really don't know how fast it goes by until your oldest leaves for college. Although my kids have done well and I feel that I've been a very involved parent, I don't believe I've enjoyed it as much as I could have if I hadn't been so darned busy.

So if your able to SAHM with your husband's support, why not? You can always go back to work; you can't make your kids "little" again. Your kids will probably be fine either way, but YOU might end up leaving nothing for yourself.

phoebe

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Author: bookaholic Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 953 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/29/2006 7:28 PM
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I think that if you enjoy working at Starbucks, then you should keep doing it.

But, if you are only doing it for the money, then I think you should look into a part time job with more flexible hours. Sales, consulting, writing, editing, data entry, website design, etc. Any skill that you have that you can market. $400-$600 per month is just not that hard to earn--there must be other ways you can do it.

Right now, I am working from home and making about that much. It does work well in a lot of ways--my DH has long hours too, and not a lot of flexibility when it comes to taking days off, leaving early, etc. But, I am getting kind of bored with it, and I would like to get out more. So, I'm considering getting a part-time job at a bookstore or something like that. Maybe as an office assistant somewhere. It would pay less on an hourly basis, but I think I would enjoy myself more.

I only have two kids, though, and even the youngest could theoretically stay home by himself if he were sick. Four would be a challenge!

Anyway, I think there are pluses and minuses to just about any work arrangement. But, I also think that Starbucks is not the only way you can make some extra money.

bookaholic

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Author: Crazyinlovefool Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 954 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/29/2006 10:59 PM
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Honestly, it sounds to me like you just don't want to work and are using your children as an excuse. If you & your husband agree that's fine. If you're comfortable paying down your debt at a slower rate without your income as long as it gets paid I don't think responsibility is an issue. It's just a choice.

Make the one your family can live with now, feel free to change as needed.


Crazyinlovefool



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Author: epona4 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 955 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/30/2006 6:52 AM
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Honestly, it sounds to me like you just don't want to work and are using your children as an excuse.

I thought about that for a while. It really is not the case here. If I didn't have kids I'd be working full time without a second thought. Whether it be at Sbux or anywhere else. "Yes", my kids are the REASON that I am considering quiting...not an excuse for me to do so.

b

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Author: bookaholic Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 956 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 9/30/2006 6:57 AM
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Honestly, it sounds to me like you just don't want to work and are using your children as an excuse.

I think that's quite unfair. She's got four kids and a husband who isn't in town all week. That sounds like a full-time job right there to me. She's already working and Starbucks is her SECOND job. That's a whole different equation.

bookaholic

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Author: 6Bitsadollar Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 961 of 974
Subject: Re: Stressing Date: 10/15/2006 8:34 PM
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Well, I think you should stay at home if it won't kill your budget.
I stayed home all but 3 years-when DH stayed home. I really wish I could get those years back.
Pssst--don't tell. DD just left for her freshman year at college, and I am still not back at work. DH works full time so it's me and the cat in this empty nest.

Molly

Would you be interested in working for a temp agency? You can pretty much pick and choose with it.

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