Subject: Schedule for 2008 Democratic Convention


That's funny, I really was just about to post the Schedule for 2008 Republican Convention

7:00 p.m. Opening Purple Heart Bandaid ceremony and desecration of wounded vets


7:10 p.m. Pledge of Allegiance to George Bush


7:30 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim


7:35 p.m. Evangelical Prayer to God Creator of the Republican Party


8:00 p.m. Section ommitted due to National Security


8:05 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim


8:10 p.m. Alberto Gonzales: how to fit 124 "I don't recalls" into 35 minutes of questioning


8:20 p.m. Timeline for bombing Iran


8:25 p.m. Section ommitted due to National Security


8:35 p.m. Karl Rove on how the Republicans actually won the 2006 mid-terms according to his numbers


8:45 p.m. Collection for the defence of the 56 Republican Sebators and Congressmen presently under investigation or in prison


9:00 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim


9:15 p.m. Rumsfeld on where the WMD really are dropped due to National Security


9:20 p.m. Collection to benefit the KKK


9:30 p.m. Keynote Speech: Ann Coulter on how Iraq is just like New York


9:40 p.m. How I avoided serving due to a butt boil by dick Cheney


9:45 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim


9:50 p.m. Outline of future plans to monitor every single phone call and every single email by every single American dubbed the "We listen to Everyone" plan.

9:55 p.m. Short lesson on how to not tell the truth by Paul Wolfowitz

10:00 p.m. Presentation: "How to solicit gay males in public restrooms" by senator Craig

10:15 p.m. Presentation: "How to text message page boys" by Mark Foley

10:30 p.m. Prayer to god to allow one more terrorist attack so that the Republicans can win in '08

10:35 p.m. Presentation: "How to accept bribes gracefully" by Duke Cunningham

10:50 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

11:05 p.m. Condoleeza Rice outlines plans to level New orleans


11:10 p.m. Presentation: "How to distribute bribes" by Abramoff


11:15 p.m. "We must stay the course" - discussion behind closed doors due to National Security


11:30 p.m. Coronation of George Bush


12:00 a.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

12:05 a.m. Declkaration of War on (country to be decided yet)