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Author: MmmDonuts Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 12880  
Subject: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 4:47 AM
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I demand the surrender of the state of California, if you have not responded to my message before my colleague follows up.

We shall assume no objection and you shall be assimilated to the Empire.

God Save the Queen

Lt.Donuts
British Invasion Squadron
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Author: Moonbucks Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4805 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 4:55 AM
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I demand the surrender of the state of California, if you have not responded to my message before my colleague follows up.

We shall assume no objection and you shall be assimilated to the Empire.

*********
Hold on just one minute. I'm going to be objectionable...ah objecting. That's the ticket! I object!

No you can't have my fair state- wracked and ruined as it is!

Moon

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Author: laopera Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4807 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 12:19 PM
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I demand the surrender of the state of California, if you have not responded to my message before my colleague follows up....blahblahblah English

Oh yes. Every once in a while, forgetting that the sun set on this unfortuate slave-labor camp of an Empire long ago, and typically after a tough Manchester United loss, some potty dough faced drunken bankrupt bastard who has just spent his dole check on faquing-near-water Watney's and a tepid and runny kidney pie at The Rack and Flag recalls a distant, alcohol-addled history lesson, and so hurls his melancholy self onto some other continent, dreaming of days of yore when the cannibals of the Royal Twittish Navy whipped fourth-world peoples into bondage and vague acknowledgement of some horseheaded woman or man. Alas, modern life is now so desperate on this small, gadfly island, itself now prone to rule by women with dowdy handbags and the sons of circus clowns, that their only hope for more worldly experience is travel by intrusion, and so, after they set foot off of some cargo boat, or disembark an airline as a courier, obliged to return with another package in seven days, backpack in hand and soiled pants on backwards, they are obliged to claim the gangway or runway on which they stand for olde shopworn Angleterre, the country that devalues its currency every ten years in order to pay its enormous debts to more modern G7 nations. Occasionally, then the boat makes a stop at the wrong port, they accidentally find themselves in a place with something more than bronze age technology, and so go ahead with their rote enslavement speech anyway, causing a minor nuisance, and are summarily dispatched to farflung elsewhere.

I understand. Welcome. Can we help you? Like a few bob to work your way back home?

laopera

Welcome.

laopera

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Author: 8677 One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4808 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 1:18 PM
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Occasionally, then the boat makes a stop at the wrong port, they accidentally find themselves in a place with something more than bronze age technology, and so go ahead with their rote enslavement speech anyway, causing a minor nuisance, and are summarily dispatched to farflung elsewhere.

Dear L,
we accept your surrender .


Adm (mech) Rear lord of the Fleet


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Author: MickTravis One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4809 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 1:59 PM
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Look, mate.

You can't have California.

Face it, we Brits have sodded up every country we got our hooks on. Just look at India. If that don't convince you, then look at Uganda, Kenya and every other place they said the sun was never supposed to set upon.

I've faced the facts: we Brits are a pathetic shadow of a world power. We have gone from a world empire to the occupier of the Falkland Islands; once we ruled hundreds of millions, and now we have sheep. And thank god the sheep are far enough from jolly old England to be safe from the perversions of the dole-taking, Murphy's-slurping sods that would have been sent to Australia two hundred years ago, who now pass for the typical Englishman.

Britain is so pathetic, depressing and worse, inconsequential, that I've abandoned it for California. I plan to stay here forever.

Last thing I want is a bunch of me old mates coming over and screwing it up.

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Author: fun2beme Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4810 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 3:40 PM
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>>Face it, we Brits have sodded up every country we got our hooks on. Just look at India. If that don't convince you, then look at Uganda, Kenya and every other place they said the sun was never supposed to set upon.<<

And don't forget Canada...eh?


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Author: WillahBrown Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4811 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 5:39 PM
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We accept your surrender.

SurRENduh?

Get yo damn cold blue ass outta this here state, de finest state in de world, right now, before I personally come down and give you a little taste of da best of California yo never forget. I had enuf with yo crooked white teeth and yo little white lies and yo history of rippin mah fine brothers and sisters right from dey families and bringin em here on boats and den sellin em like dey was cattle, jus so you can keep payin yo Queen a few more quid every tax time and build yo own enslavement mills and factory in Manchestuh Leeds Brighton wherever da hell yo pretendin is some green an pleasant land. (I do tell ya, comin here even in chains was better dan going to England, if we was goin dere we would have sunk de boat.) So you come over here--just step right on up--so I can hear you say "Surrender" loud and clear, you blue-ass punk. You aint ever seen nothin like this, no Mayuh of no Sussex County ever put a big Bruno Magli boot right up you--


Adm (mech) Rear lord of the Fleet

I suggest you get that Rear ready, Admiral. Don't you forget that everbody a Queen in mah City, not just one horsehead person, and I put all da good people down on you all at once, you see first hand what buggerin da whole world is like once and for all.

I show you surrenduh. California-style. Den I put you in some shackles an sell YOU to da IRA.

Hizzoner the Honorable Honorary WillahBrown
Da Man in Charge of Da City

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Author: fun2beme Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4812 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 5:46 PM
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>>Hizzoner the Honorable Honorary WillahBrown
Da Man in Charge of Da City <<

I think you mean duh city...

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Author: LennieKR Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4813 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 6:49 PM
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Be careful - be very careful - you might just get what you ask for!

(Sent in a plain, brown, unmarked wrapper.)

Tata, Lennie

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Author: michaelwj Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4814 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/15/2000 8:40 PM
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<Don't you forget that everbody a Queen in
mah City, not just one horsehead person

Hizzoner the Honorable Honorary WillahBrown>

God save da Queens!
(except the ones with horseheads)



Michael


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Author: Absynthe Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4815 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/16/2000 1:36 AM
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Hey, leave MUFC outta this one. :)

Absynthe

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Author: snr Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4817 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/16/2000 4:03 AM
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Hey, leave MUFC outta this one. :)

I quite agree!

By the way do I take it that you would rather we not claim this board then? I kind of lost the message in the middle of the history lesson.

:-))

cheers
snr



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Author: TMFTwitty Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4818 of 12880
Subject: Re: Surrender Date: 5/16/2000 9:20 AM
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...dreaming of days of yore when the cannibals of the Royal Twittish Navy whipped fourth-world peoples into bondage...

And just who forgot to inform me I have a Navy?!? The Tower is going to be full tonight, I can tell you...

HMS Twitty

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