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Author: sashamore Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 5037  
Subject: swanning the boards... Date: 5/26/2007 3:54 PM
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hi folks...

biz has been rather slow the last few days so i have been reading some
of the boards at the fool, and i wonder how come writing to people on a computer entitles--no, encourages-- really rude, hostile, and disparaging posts......no one would talk to someone in person the way
some posters talk to other posters in these places....so MEAN...


what IS that? WHY is that?


sasha
who has certainly done her share of smarta$s wisecracking,
but wonders about all the hostility just the same
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Author: mycache101 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Global Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1451 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/26/2007 4:57 PM
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what IS that? WHY is that?



Sasha, ( and other EE'ers)

I've found the hostility strange. I am new to online discussion boards and have found it to be somewhat intimidating.
I am a pretty easy-going person, and usually talk fairly casually to my friends. I don't worry if my words come out perfect. The worst thing that happens is I will laugh at my own lack of grace, or have to apologize for a dumb foot-in-mouth comment...
Here? It's different. There have been times I've been surprised that someone would go out of their way to pick apart my words or worse.
To what end does that serve a purpose, I wonder?
Luckily there are a few places, like EE that people generally are well behaved. (Sounds like I'm referring to a daycare center, or the 'loony bin:)(* insert a page of disclaimers.)

I have an acquaintance that manages a local business and one of her ex-employee's got online and said horrible things about her. It is like High School all over again, but with very grown-up, real world consequences. This hurt her feelings, to say the least. It is very hard for her to reconcile with the nature of online gossip. It seems to propagate itself.

I have no answers or brilliant insights, just similar questions.

Julie




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Author: oncqueen Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1452 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/26/2007 6:35 PM
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RE: what IS that? WHY is that?


I think it is a combination of the stressors of modern life, and the anonymity of the boards that make it easy.

The cavemen, without cell phones, beepers, or light, got lots of rest when the sun went down. Couldn't have been fun, huddled together hoping no tiger would eat you in the night, but at least they got some rest and they must have had a relatively uncomplicated view of life: get something to eat, protect the clan, stay warm, do it again tomorrow. They didn't worry about global warming or terrorism, and didn't have the excruciating sadness and idiocy constantly beamed at them through online news and radio and other sources. (not to say that they didn't have awful things happen, but they didn't constantly hear about stuff happening elsewhere; their world was smaller). They also probably got a lot of their stresses out physically; must've been hard dragging down rhinos, carrying your child while you grubbed roots, etc.

Lots of us. on the other hand, have so much to do that we don't take much down time, and are couch potatoes. How many of you really ever feel caught up? Or aren't tempted to just opt out, move to some wilderness, and herd geese? I bet most of us don't have anyone we would really want to kill, but I know I have a few I would love to see in a dunking booth, using raw eggs instead of a ball...

The rest is the cowardice that comes from anonymity. People will be rude on the phone when they wouldn't dream of doing it in person, or aggressive on the highway, because they figure no one will know who they are, and those chickens won't come home to roost. This is why some of us like smaller towns; people flip each other off less on the highway, because it might turn out to be your daughter's violin teacher.

I think you take a tightly-wound person, add in a little emotional frenzy (these are stocks and money, nearly as bad as religion to get people going!), and then make it so people think they can get away with it, and some of them are going to be obnoxious. (the rest of us will come here and bemoan it)


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Author: erierambler Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1453 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/26/2007 7:11 PM
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what IS that? WHY is that?

Not sure to what specifically you are referring to, but in my own personal case I received private emails from someone I had no previous discussions, within a reasonable timeframe, to be telling me what to do and say. Needless I had to post a message to put a stop to it , which was out of character for me. The incident gave me a different perspective for sure. I stopped posting on that board altogether and have been careful to post only on boards I feel there are respectful posters on them.

erie


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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1454 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/27/2007 1:58 PM
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i have been reading some of the boards at the fool, and i wonder how come writing to people on a computer entitles--no, encourages-- really rude, hostile, and disparaging posts......no one would talk to someone in person the way some posters talk to other posters in these places....so MEAN... what IS that? WHY is that?

Some people are just rude and mean, online or off.
Aside from that, here are some reasons for mean or rude posts.

1. Joking.
Some people are actually good friends, but part of their friendship with each other includes saying absurdly hostile or mean things that both people know are just a joke. If you didn't know that, it would look cruel, but the important thing is that the two people involved both know it's just silly.

2. Because it's Funny.
Sometimes the mean stuff is also hilarious, if it's not too mean, etc.

3. Takes Two to Tango.
Some posters have long-standing bad habits, such as using every thread as a vehicle to expound on their own pet peeve, or posting their opinions in a manner that's predictable, irrational, factually inaccurate, exaggerated, argumentative, or just dumb. Over time, these folks have been so aggravating and picked so many fights that people inclined to mockery regard them as fair game.

4. Middle School Status Struggle
Some people seem to function like 13 year olds, operating on the principle that to be the Queen Bee or Alpha Dog requires them to take gratuitous pot shots at others.

5. Inappropriate Tone
Boards have their own tone and sensibility. Some are super-supportive, with the (((((Poster!)))) huggie symbols, day-to-day encouragement of each other ("Congratulations on losing another 5 pounds!!"), and unwritten rules of not fake-cursing or gossiping. Others are rougher, with lots of fake-cursing, sarcasm, and mockery. Go to any board and adopt a manner that is out of keeping with the general tone, and one runs into trouble.

6. Private Boards.
Although boards are technically open to all, some are a de facto private community, and may try to limit who posts there by restricting it to those to whom an official Welcome Mat has been extended. Posting on one of these may lead to trouble.

7. Age
A lot of the "mean and rude" posters are 24-45 years old, and a lot of the "hurt or offended" posters are over 50. Maybe the young don't have manners nowadays, maybe the old are too touchy, I don't know.
Whatevs.

8. Anonymity, Random Snarls, Cranks, Crackpots, Hooligans
Okay, some people are just jerks. Here's a funny compendium of the online zoo: http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

So, there are a few reasons why people are mean and rude.
Piney, has made every posting mistake possible at one time or another.


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Author: joseph714 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1455 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/27/2007 7:06 PM
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I'm with Piney on this.

Nicely stated indeed.

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Author: lovingrose Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1456 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/27/2007 11:22 PM
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Piney, thank you soooooo much for the link! That's a week's worth of reading! LOL

I loved the "Big Cat" description.

Love
Loving

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Author: lovingrose Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1457 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 10:33 AM
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I think TMF is one of THE worst places I've been on in YEARS!!! Is this the kind of nastiness people have to put up with at work, at home, shopping??? Do you guys encounter this kind of rudeness in the "real" world?

I may just live a pretty insulated life, but I just don't come across this kind of meanness very often.

Love
Loving


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Author: chkNYC Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1458 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 11:23 AM
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7. Age. A lot of the "mean and rude" posters are 24-45 years old, and a lot of the "hurt or offended" posters are over 50. Maybe the young don't have manners nowadays, maybe the old are too touchy, I don't know.

I agree with much of what you posted, Piney, however, I do have to make one comment about #7 (above).

It might be true that the "over 50's" are more easily "hurt or offended". Who knows why. Maybe we've gone through a bit more than the "under 50's" and therefore don't find some of the same things funny. Maybe we are "too touchy". Maybe our sense of humor is just more sophisticated. Could be any, all or none of the above.

But that's not my comment.

While I'm not "hurt or offended", I do wish that you wouldn't refer to the "over 50's" as "the old". I'm 59 and I certainly don't think of myself as "old". I may be older than someone who is 24-45 years old but I'm not "old".

(OK, maybe I'm a bit touchy!!)

Christina





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Author: sashamore Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1459 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 12:30 PM
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piney, your post was terrific and the link was absolutely spot on.
i recognised myself in so many of the characters that i started to
get a little anxious-------like reading a medical dictionary, y'know?
you see yourself everywhere........

i have to agree w christina, though....i'm certainly over 50, and i'm certainly not "old" in spirit or in thinking....(i wake up w aches and pains, tho)..it might be a generational thing...i dont think we were raised with the same sense of entitlement that so many posters display...and, as oncdoc suggests, the anonymity factor tends to break down societal barriers......

as my youngest daughter says about alot of things: 'it is what it is'
........whatever THAT means?!?


sasha



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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1460 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 12:35 PM
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I'm not trying to define a line between who is officially "young" or "old," just pointing out that some of Group A are younger than some in Group B. We're all as young as we feel, right?

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Author: joseph714 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1461 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 4:55 PM
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We're all as young as we feel, right?

Piney
------------

In my everyday experience I see people that grow taller yet do not mature into cool.

Then I also see very chronologically young people who demonstrate some of the most savvy & mature insights possible.

I have pretty much lived by the notion that we are to perpetually elict child like joy, while we are to as soon as possible flush out of our behavior the childishness that contends in non acts of love.

Then again, that is my code. Not everyones.

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Author: erierambler Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1462 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 5:59 PM
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Some people are just rude and mean, online or off.
Aside from that, here are some reasons for mean or rude posts.


Piney,
Excellent explanation, and since I've made my share of mistakes as well, always learning........

erie ( over 50 crowd )


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Author: Allisonh2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1463 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 6:38 PM
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7. Age
A lot of the "mean and rude" posters are 24-45 years old, and a lot of the "hurt or offended" posters are over 50. Maybe the young don't have manners nowadays, maybe the old are too touchy, I don't know.
Whatevs.

***********************************************************************

I find thaS statement to be very true. Seems it's a different world these days than when us 40 or 50 year olds grew up. More fast paced, more impatience, more anger and less respect. Unfortunately, I even see that in my own children (ages 20 and 15) Makes me long for the good old days.
Allison

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Author: wolferd1 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1464 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 7:02 PM
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Seems it's a different world these days than when us 40 or 50 year olds grew up.

While that is certainly true, hasn't every generation that ever came along said that when they reached 50 years old?

wolferd1 - approaching double nickels

obligatory joke outline

The youngster says, "Pops, we live in a different world than you grew up in. We have computers, the internet, Ipods, satellite tv, gps, microwaves. Things are different now and you can't keep up anymore."

Old timer says, "You are right, we didn't have any of those things when I was young. So we went out and invented them. What are you going to do?"

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Author: lovingrose Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1465 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/28/2007 9:50 PM
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We're all as young as we feel, right?
***********
I have way more energy now at 53 than I EVER did at 23!!!

Love
Loving

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Author: Allisonh2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1466 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/29/2007 4:26 PM
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We're all as young as we feel, right?
***********
I have way more energy now at 53 than I EVER did at 23!!!

Love
Loving

*********************************

Loving,
That's great! I see you are the same age as me (53) Can you send me some of that excess energy you have? LOL, I'll need it for sure when I go to Orlando, FL June 23rd to keep up with my 14 year old daughter!

TIA :)
Allie

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Author: lovingrose Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1467 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/29/2007 8:04 PM
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That's great! I see you are the same age as me (53) Can you send me some of that excess energy you have? LOL, I'll need it for sure when I go to Orlando, FL June 23rd to keep up with my 14 year old daughter!
*******************************
LOL! Take your vitamins! (and minerals)

Are you guys going to Disney World? Wish I could stow away in your luggage. :)

Love
Loving

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Author: jrr7 Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1468 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/30/2007 12:25 PM
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I think TMF is one of THE worst places I've been on in YEARS!!! Is this the kind of nastiness people have to put up with at work, at home, shopping???

In big cities, and especially in the East, it is often worse.

e.g. "Can I help you" said with a tone of voice that means "I really don't want to help you".

The Midwest has still remained mostly free of this pointless rudeness.

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Author: Allisonh2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1469 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/30/2007 2:45 PM
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Somedays I feel peppier than others, today is not one of them! Today I could just go back to bed and sleep away the day instead of dragging myself here to work. Sigh!

Loving, I don't think we are going to Disney World, Megan just wanted to see Universal Studios and Sea World and of course hit all the outlet shopping malls that we possibly can!
Allison

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Author: Allisonh2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1470 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/30/2007 2:46 PM
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The Midwest has still remained mostly free of this pointless rudeness.

Oh I don't know about that, I live in the Midwest and rudeness is starting to rear it's ugly head around here! But all in all, they probably are a bit friendlier here than out East.

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Author: BrandNewDay Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1471 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 4:50 AM
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I think TMF is one of THE worst places I've been on in YEARS!!! Is this the kind of nastiness people have to put up with at work, at home, shopping??? Do you guys encounter this kind of rudeness in the "real" world?

I may just live a pretty insulated life, but I just don't come across this kind of meanness very often.


I know, Loving. You're right. Yet, I can't give it up! It's like a dirty habit or something.

I came here to find a post by you in order to specifically invite you to my board over on Social Clubs: it's called BrandNewBoard.

http://boards.fool.com/Messages.asp?mid=25542780&bid=118421

It's all about inspiring one another and having fun without the snarkage.

The people on Sasha's board are generally pretty nice, so I figured posting about it here would be a good idea. :)

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1472 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 12:45 PM
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<<LOL, I'll need it for sure when I go to Orlando, FL June 23rd to keep up with my 14 year old daughter!>>

Allie:

My DD#2 is 14, too! What do you have planned to keep her from being the obligatory "bored teenager" on your trip? Ours just took off this morning for Tennessee with her grandparents and brother, my only hope is that she doesn't try to toss him off a mountain!

LWW


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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1473 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 12:52 PM
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Sasha,

Just my opinion, of course, but I think there are a lot of people out there who,because people don't know them, think that they can make any wisecrack that they want, regardless of whether it hurts or offends other people. I mean, you probably wouldn't say something hurtful to someone if you knew they were your next door neighbor off-line. But when you think that they are hundreds of miles away it is easy to lash out with no fear of repercussions.

On one of the boards, and I'll decline to mention which one. There is a poster who apparently has quite a bit of professional training, but the overall attitude this poster displays is so riddled with condensation and rudeness, when the poster actually wants to post something sincere, there is a need to put in a disclaimer! I find it easiest not to respond to such posts.

Many people have a dry wit that borders on sarcastic, I find myself in this group quite often. Part of the problem then becomes tone. Things that would be taken as a joke if spoken aloud, don't always come across that way in print.

I try to take the advice of my late grandmother who said if you don't want it splashed in tomorrows front page, don't say it. Good advice, not always followed <grin>

LWW

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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1474 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 1:53 PM
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On one of the boards, and I'll decline to mention which one. There is a poster who apparently has quite a bit of professional training, but the overall attitude this poster displays is so riddled with condensation and rudeness, when the poster actually wants to post something sincere, there is a need to put in a disclaimer!

---

Well, there goes the next half hour, while I try to guess which board/poster you mean!

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1475 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 2:44 PM
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<<Well, there goes the next half hour, while I try to guess which board/poster you mean!>>

Happy to oblige you in passing the afternoon <grin>

LWW


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Author: Matt1344 Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1476 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 4:56 PM
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"Many people have a dry wit that borders on sarcastic"

Hi LWW,

As a young man I was quite sarcastic. One day I was asked if I knew what sarcasm meant... Thinking it was humor, but figuring there was a reason for the question, I took the prompting and looked it up in a large dictionary. One of the definitions was "a ripping and tearing of the flesh". I found the following concerning the root of sarcasm on an on line dictionary which relates to the definition above.

http://www.m-w.org/dictionary/sarcasm

"Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh" (My bold)

Reflecting on the meaning and examining myself I came to understand that it had nothing to do with humor. Just as it says, it was a way to wound. When someone objects I think the typical response is something like, "Hey, can't you take a joke?" Well, to me I see no humor in sarcasm. It is covert hostility at best. An attempt to make someone feel smaller...

I'm not saying this in regards to yourself, just what sarcasm looks like from my point of view. I regret that time in my life and do my best to make sure my attempts at humor might bring a smile to someone and at worst fall flat for reasons that are not the result of inducing bad feelings within someone. I found that I never really felt bigger by making someone else feel smaller. And yes, I probably fail at times...

Take care, Ken ( Regrets not having taken LWW's grandmothers advice ;-) )

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1477 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 6:06 PM
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<<I regret that time in my life and do my best to make sure my attempts at humor might bring a smile to someone and at worst fall flat for reasons that are not the result of inducing bad feelings within someone. I found that I never really felt bigger by making someone else feel smaller. And yes, I probably fail at times...>>

It seems to me that most people develop sarcasm as a defensive mechanism that can quite easily get out of hand. FWIW, my 14 yr old is working on getting her masters in it! But she hsa such an underlying sense of concern for other people's feelings, that I think she'll outgrow it if we remind her often enough. Her brother tends to bring out the worst in her at times!

LWW


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Author: joseph714 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1478 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 6:09 PM
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Ken / matt:

I 100% am in agreement with the notion that sarcasm has nothing at all to do with humor.

It has been mistaken by default in this culture as what humor is to be. & quite sadly so since it tends to almost always be at the expense of a persons inner dignity.

In all my years in the clinic as a cognitive behavioral scientist, iv'e watched this trend build.

In treatment, there has been some success in shifting this choice somewhat & almost to the person, I have been contacted years later in thankfulness that we worked at eliminating this form.

Dry wit that is understated, for me, has been a pretty fair vehicle of inclusive humor at nobodies expense.


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Author: joseph714 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1479 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 6:11 PM
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It seems to me that most people develop sarcasm as a defensive mechanism

LWW
------------

Bingo.

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Author: Matt1344 Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1480 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 6:26 PM
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"It seems to me that most people develop sarcasm as a defensive mechanism that can quite easily get out of hand."

Hi LWW,

For me, in large part, it was a way to vent the anger I had inside but couldn't express safely. This was not a conscious choice at the time and becoming conscious gave me the opportunity to change. I recall reading J. Krishnamurti sometime later in the 70's and he wrote that a person does not need to do anything to change, they just have to see how they are. That seems to be what happened for me in this instance :-)

"Her brother tends to bring out the worst in her at times!"

lol

Regards, Ken

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Author: Matt1344 Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1481 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 6:30 PM
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"It has been mistaken by default in this culture as what humor is to be. & quite sadly so since it tends to almost always be at the expense of a persons inner dignity.

Dry wit that is understated, for me, has been a pretty fair vehicle of inclusive humor at nobodies expense."


Hi Joseph,

Yup. :-)

Good to see ya.

God Bless,

Ken

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Author: joseph714 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1482 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 7:10 PM
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For me, in large part, it was a way to vent the anger I had inside but couldn't express safely.

Ken
------------

That IS what the manifestation of a defense mechanism is all about.

Our ego defense tends to dig in, like in the anger of self righteous indignation, defending its point to the enth degree.

It works in that temporary mode, but pretty much is revealed to be the "wizard of Oz " that it is when push comes to shove.

Love is the finer way, I believe.

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Author: Levka98 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1483 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 5/31/2007 10:24 PM
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It seems to me that most people develop sarcasm as a defensive mechanism

LWW


On these boards, it is used when there is nothing to defend. The sarcastic one will add nothing to the original post; he/she just rips into the poster. I think these people have been ignored in life and take it out on posters on the internet. It's like they're bullies, and I deem bullies to be cowards as they always pick on someone they deem to be weak. I don't know why, but I imagine the sarcastic poster as obese, dirty, chomping on a donut or pizza and unsanitary. Homeless people look better than what I'm imagining.

A former boyfriend said something to me that was hurtful and I called him on it. He said he was only being funny, but I told him I saw no humor in what he said. He apologized. I told him I'd rather he not voice comments that were hurtful. Sometimes people need to feel superior by putting down another person. Hmmm, he's a "former" boyfriend. Guess that sums it up.

Regards,

Levka.


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Author: joeyboxadonuts Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1484 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 9:08 AM
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I don't know why, but I imagine the sarcastic poster as obese, dirty, chomping on a donut or pizza and unsanitary. Homeless people look better than what I'm imagining.

Regards,

Levka.


HEY!!


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Author: sashamore Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1485 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 12:31 PM
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.......

how do you recognise the difference between "dry wit" and sarcasm?

i like to think i'm being witty, but maybe i'm just sarcastic???


sasha
who maybe is just plain not amusing any way you slice it...

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Author: IndecisiveFool Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1486 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 1:17 PM
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Some people are actually good friends, but part of their friendship with each other includes saying absurdly hostile or mean things that both people know are just a joke. If you didn't know that, it would look cruel, but the important thing is that the two people involved both know it's just silly.

Shut up - butt kisser.

IF

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Author: IndecisiveFool Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1487 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 1:19 PM
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While I'm not "hurt or offended", I do wish that you wouldn't refer to the "over 50's" as "the old". I'm 59 and I certainly don't think of myself as "old". I may be older than someone who is 24-45 years old but I'm not "old".

We'll say antique in the future.

IF


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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1488 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 1:40 PM
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how do you recognise the difference between "dry wit" and sarcasm?

---

Dry wit is aimed at a third party who is not present, as when you say upon hearing that Senator Dummy is giving a speech, "Oh, I can't wait for another enlightened and informative analysis."

Sarcasm is aimed at the person you're sarcassing, as when your daughter says "Right, mom, I'm totally going to wear an outfit from Old Navy to the class party."



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Author: joeyboxadonuts Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1489 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 2:43 PM
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sasha
who maybe is just plain not amusing any way you slice it...


Would I waste my time posting with you if I didn't find you amusing?

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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1490 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 2:59 PM
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was that sarcasm or dry wit?

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Author: joeyboxadonuts Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1491 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 3:02 PM
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Yes.

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Author: sashamore Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1492 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 3:33 PM
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that was an expression of benifence, munificense, and generalgoodcense.


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Author: PineyLevel Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1493 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/1/2007 3:52 PM
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that was an expression of benifence, munificense, and generalgoodcense.
---
it's like you know him.

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Author: mycache101 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Global Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 1494 of 5037
Subject: Re: swanning the boards... Date: 6/2/2007 4:52 PM
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i like to think i'm being witty, but maybe i'm just sarcastic???

Sasha,

You are very witty and I have never seen you be offensive,
even when you had right to be...

Cheers and hugs,

Julie




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