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Author: ajoell Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 11198  
Subject: Re: Saying "no" Date: 4/10/2001 9:10 AM
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Tell her the truth, you do not have those kinds of funds available. Your investments portfolio is not liquid and it is not for someone else to spend. Make it very clear, until she pays back the money she already owes you, you will not keep enabling her. If she will ask her 70 yr old father, she obviously feels the world owes her something, which it does not.

She is counting on the guilt, don't give your personal power away like that. If I sound harsh, it is because I have been there, done that, have the t-shirts, I went more than once. My "baby" sister use to push all my buttons, I would bail her out of any situation. One day I realized I wasn't doing her any favors. We had a few rough spots, but we now have an equal relationship. She has learned to manage her money and is very proud of that, and she is starting to teach her son. The biggest favor I ever did for her, was NOT to help her. She had to face the consequences of her actions. I would advise, but not bail her out. It was not easy, I struggled with guilt, but in the end, it was the only real solution.


If you really want to help her family, teach her about the "b" word (budget). She obviously has serious lack of money management education.

Also tell her to call around in her community. If she and hubby are out of work, there should be no other reason they do have rent money, there are social services available to them. If they do have jobs, she must deal with the landlord to make partial payments or something.

I hope you at least get a signed loan agreement from her, that way you can write off her bad debts to you on your taxes. I have a feeling you are going to help out this time, protect yourself that much, please.

Good luck,
ajoell
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