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Thank you for the nice things you said about me (even if you did get my name wrong! LOL!)

Okay, so *MY* post in response is not meant to generate debate on religion, whose religion is right, whose God is true, and whether or not there is a God, or if He gives a flip what we do down here. It's just what I believe. If I make a statement that sounds like a fact, but you disagree with it, please don't try to act like I think my opinions are fact.

That being said, a LOT of things have impacted my decision to wait for sex until marriage.

Virgin is just one way of being. (No, I don't mean to quote Firefly here, it just happens to be true, plus I was saying that WAY before Joss Whedon wrote the script.) I'm comfortable with it. I've always planned on saving sex for my wedding night. Since I was way too young to even fully understand what sex was.

I was not raised religious. Anything but. My parents married way too young, I believe in part because they were guilted into it by their parents because they were living together. Not that my grandparents are moral pillars by any means.

My father was born out of wedlock as the result of my grandmother's affair with a married man. She only got married later because her next love affair with an American stationed near her home town resulted in yet another pregnancy. So she married Don, and moved to the US, and had 3 more kids, at least one of which we all suspect is not Don's.

My mother, on the other hand, along with her sisters, was molested for years by her father, with the full knowledge of Grandma. You gotta kind of figure that a guy in his 30's marrying a 15 year old ain't quite right.

So, anyway, my parents who should not have married when they did, if ever, did, and had us two girls. My father was a cheater from day 1. (hmmm...maybe that's Grandma's genes at work?) I was raised watching two people use sex as a weapon against each other. It was easy for even a 7 year old to see that that was not healthy, and that sex outside of a marriage caused problems in the marriage. What should have been something beautiful, became something ugly and horrible. Instead of sex being the union of two souls and bodies, it became a way to punish. And, despite the severe abuse my mother suffered, she couldn't bring herself to leave my father, until the second time her put her in the hospital.

Mom went on to a "career" of prostitution at times (when ever drug trafficing wasn't enough to cover the bills, or when she smoked up too much of her profits). This was around the time I developed my eating disorder. Mom got pregnant by one of her boyfriends (only after Hailey was about 8 or so, and her nose was really developing, did we figure out which guy was her father), cleaned up, and moved back home to her mother, where my aunt tried to get her to go to church (the church I worship with now).

My mother drug me behind her on her spiritual quest (on which she is still embarked, BTW.) She's been everything but Jewish, and I'm pretty sure if it weren't so difficult to convert, she'd have tried that, too. I started going to church when I was 12, and was baptized, but somewhere between then and HS graduation, I dabbled in Wicca and paganism. (I was way into astrology, reflexology, herbs, stones, etc)

I was still into "savin' it", however. There were too many consequences for a few minutes of pleasure, as I saw it. My mother was extremely lucky that all she got out of her abusive relationships were a few broken bones and a few kids. For years, we weren't allowed to use the same razor as her to shave our legs, because of the risk of HIV.

Now that I am back to church and doing the whole good little Christian thing, I see why God says not to do it. He's not about ruining the fun. He wants it to be special, holy, and something to bring you closer to your partner. Not something to be used as a weapon or a wedge.

And that goes for a lot of other things we "aren't supposed to do". I find that when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I feel calmer and more at peace. Anyone who's been through a 12-step program for any kind of addiction should know exactly what I'm talking about. When you go and make peace with the people you've hurt, it's like a huge weight is lifted off of you. That's a scriptural principle at work there - Mark 11:25-26.

So, really, the virginity thing, while spiritual, isn't religious, per se.

And this was probably WAY more than you thought you were going to have to read, huh?
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