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Thank you, my loves.

I've known I was bi since... forever. I've had serious relationships with both men and women, two of them long term. I was in a three year relationship with a wonderful woman whom I loved very much, but things didn't work out so we went our separate ways. Not long after that, I met a wonderful man and things did work out. We got married and had kids and I thought it was the end of the story because that's what a monogamous marriage is. If things had worked out with my girlfriend, it would have been the same.

Thing was, I was unhappy and couldn't figure out why for a long time. I finally figured out it was because I was denying who and what I am, my totality. I did a lot of soul searching and decided to come out to my husband. There was a terrible fear because I knew it could possibly end a seventeen year marriage, but I had to do it because secrets are heavy and I missed my community. He took it well, and we're still together. I'm respectful of his comfort zone and don't push him past it. All that matters to me is that he accepts me for me, which is kind of what marriage is all about, right?

There are still moments I have to catch myself, like when we were driving to his dad's home and "I Kissed a Girl" (Jill Sobule's excellent song, not Katy Perry's) came on the radio and I almost started singing along. You'd better believe I'd belt it out if he weren't there, but thought it might be overkill since he was.

Now, being bi, there's a second closet I had to come out of, and that's having an opposite sex partner. Fortunately, my local community is very supportive and loving, so it's not an issue for most of them... most. Some have issues, but since I don't live or die by anyone else's opinion, I let it roll right off me. I had almost forgotten about biphobia. It used to hurt my feelings way back in the day to be told I don't exist, or I'm claiming hetero privilege, or I'm confused, or I'm just curious and closeted. These days, not so much. I'm Black, female, liberal, a union member, an atheist and a Federal employee. I've been called worse. One thing I find kind of funny is my gay and lesbian friends are just as curious about what makes me tick as their straight counterparts and ask serious, intelligent questions. One friend who does outreach for LGBT teenagers asked me if I would be interested in attending one of his sessions. I told him any time.

Kind of long, kind of rambly, but that's my story. Glad to be back.
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