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Author: slakk Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 1960  
Subject: Re: To Wed, Flee, or Flounder? Date: 1/8/2009 3:29 PM
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Thanks Sandy.
Yes, we would be friends and hang out together.
That is one of our strong points.
There are a lot of "little" things I suppose, but I accept such things. Hey, I'm not perfect either (you ought to see my bathroom, yikes!)

My main concern, and overriding question is:

Will marrying someone with awful credit and filing bankruptcy adversely effect my credit?

I think the answers are:
1. Yes
2. No, not if you keep finances seprate and get a pre-nup (think of it as insurance)

I am not sure if those are correct answers, but they are answers.
The question does pose further scrutiny though. It leads to further questions...
Why do you want to marry someone who is not as responsible as you?
Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life changing someone?
(I learned a long time ago that you can't change anyone, but people seem to change on their own, no matter what-- for the good or the bad)

So this is quite the quagmire....
I'm thinkin I shalln't stir the pot and just let sleeping dogs lie and forgo any hopes of getting married in the near future.

I HAVE let her know, on occasion, a lot of my concerns about financials, and as I post before, it leads to an arguement (she takes it as a criticism instead of a genuine loving concern).

One last tidbit about her finanacial irresponsiblity...
(will also show, that she IS a kind soul and has good intentions...but...)

She invited me to volunteer for Meals on Wheels on Christmas day, and since I cannot do it any other day of the year (10am-1pm I am at work and weekends fo MCCSA are always booked) I jumped at the occassion to brighten a shut-ins Christmas day.
We loaded up my truck with coolers, grabbed the kids, picked up the meals at the hospital and had a lot of fun meeting some very kind and grateful seniors. Since it was Christmas, i figured the least I could do is toss in a $1 scratch off to boot, hoping some might get lucky.

After we were done we had a few scratch offs left and I gave her one.
She won $30!
She was so excited, seeing she never buys them and never wins if given one. I told her to cash it and keep the money.
Instead, she kept it in her wallet, which she put behind the ward desk at the hospital last week (never cashed the darn thing) and got robbed while she was at lunch.
Who the heck leaves their wallet with cash, ID, winning lottery ticket and other personal information in it unattended?

My girlfriend obviously. I told her lesson learned.
I really can't be upset about it, but its just a sure-fire example of carelessness and disregard for financial freedom, stability, and security.

Hmmmmm, maybe I ought to flee....yet love tugs at the heart strings.

Slakk
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