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Author: slowlythere Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 198  
Subject: Re: Undiagnosed LD, Mental Illness, etc. Date: 12/17/2006 4:19 PM
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The cannot intervene unless he gives his permission for them to have the information. They can, however, put him out of the house since he is an adult and technically can be on his own since they are no longer legally responsible for him. That's the risk he's taking, but it might be worthwhile for him at this point.

They've been threatening to throw him out on his 18th birthday for the last couple of years. It's since come and gone and they haven't done it. At the same time, he also said he couldn't wait till move out on the same. He's since realized it's not as easy to do as it is to say.

Some of the guidance I've been giving him, while he's still listening to me and trusts what I say, is that he needs to gain true personal accountability and responsibility for himself so that he can remain independent and live the way he wants. He doesn't get it yet since he thinks the world "owes" him things he thinks he should be entitled to. I'm teaching him he needs to work hard in general to survive and be independent, but even harder for his own desires and goals. Sometimes, I say to him, it requires delaying gratification, suffering for a bit (enduring school, suffering through a petty job he hates, whatever) in order to get what he really wants, and then to keep (maintain) it.

It might sound odd to others perhaps, but I never thought these principles - that I consider fundamental - to be so difficult for him to understand. I know he lacks experience with independent living, adult responsibility, and related, but he absolutely doesn't seem to appreciate that he can't have it all his way, on his own terms.

Any thoughts about how/why 'normal' teens think and how it differs from 'troubled' teens think, I'd appreciate it.
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