God has been unkind for me, and he is trying to deliver the coup de grace.This is my work computer. My boss left early.My sister (who owes a 20k student loan and 2k providian) wants to TRAVEL to the US again!She doesn't know I didn't pay any of her loans, and her credit rating (which used to be good, on my expense) is quickly falling into deep abyss.But if she learns about that she will probably kill me (in the literal sense - she does have a history of violence, and can use a knife well).I am trying my best to block her re-entry to the US. She has a green card, but I heard bad credit ratings may jeopardize her chance of reentry here. (If it is true I will thank the Homeland Security Dept as long as I live! ; btw I am a US citizen)She has not earned a penny in her not-too-short life, and loves spending just like her mother.If you think the whole story is a complete fabrication, I would agree were it not happening to me right now.She is also very upset against me already because I refused to cosign another of her $10k loans some time ago. (she didn't get it, partly because of me)At this point my only option is to run away from all, including my creditors and grandmother. Fortunately my stock (which I never sold) is now around $2,500, enough to gain a month of rent in a low-cost area.It does stand to increase much more, but at this point I have to make the decision cuz my life is more important. It doesn't matter whether the police puts my sister in the joint for the life, if I am dead.I am trying to find a program to volunteer in the overseas. At least they won't follow me to there.
And I want to mention that I wouldn't probably be able to volunteer for the military because my physical condition doesn't fit their requirement.
this is getting way too bizarre.She has a history of violence? She'd kill you because of a credit rating?Sounds like you need to pull up stakes, brother, and go a-wandering. Find another large city to live in. If you're on the east coast, head for the west coast. If on the west, go east or to a midwest city. When your family get to your abode, pitchforks and knives and torches in hand to string you up for the heinous crime of failing to go into debt for them, you simply won't be there.I would also advise, if you are in a state that is so inclined, that you go to a local gun store and purchase some heat. You might check www.packing.org to see what the rules are in the state you're in, and in the state you want to end up in. I'd make it a point to be ending up in a state where it's legal to carry concealed. (PA is one of these, much to my relief.) Go to a local gun club and get training, including perhaps IPSC certification.You don't need to run away from your creditors. Make sure you take your records with you and send them money orders when you get a new job. This way you maintain your credit rating and continue to preserve what remains of your good credit name.
And I want to mention that I wouldn't probably be able to volunteer for the military because my physical condition doesn't fit their requirement. If you can't cope with a frenzied relative, there's no way you'd be able to cope with what the military usually gets thrown at them every day, anyway.Move house. To a different state. And don't give them your new address!
You're no good to them if you are dead, for sure. I think the Peace Corps is still taking volunteers. They don't pay much and the living conditions can be quite rustic. Earlier you received a suggestion of finding a little old lady who might exchange a room in her house for someone who would run some errands and generally be good company some evenings. The phone would be listed in her name, of course. You'd be quite difficult to find, and of course you wouldn't tell your relatives where you are. This story has gotten pretty bizarre.... Best wishes, Chris
God has been unkind for me,Really? He has? So you are writing this from beyond the grave? In Hell?No, I think He is giving you a much needed kick in the pants. And do you know how I can tell? Because I've been there, too. I was jobless, homeless, and had no vehicle to even live in. I had to choose between living on the street or living with my mother. The street was looking real good. Then I woke up from my selfish little pity party and accepted help from some friends from church--they've been the absolute best friends I've ever had.
Well, there is such thing as a miracle.I was able to dissaude my estranged sister from coming here. It was hard, but I finally managed to do it.I am trying to buy time, and my strategy seems to be working.Thank you for all your advices! Later.
You are frustrating. People at the Fool here want to help you, but all you post is vauge, short, indescriptive cries for help. We sense the panic, but can't really help you all that much because all you seem to want to do is complain and not take control of your life. You have received so many good ideas, but you don't seem to follow them or take heed from any of them. Why do you have so many debts? Why are you responsible for your mother and your sisters debts? What country are they all from? Why would you want to live your life like this? Why do you beg us for help but then don't let us help you?This post, in rereading it, is kind of harsh. I don't mean to be a big jerk- know that the love is there. But so is the frustration.angela
Well, at least you stopped her from coming to see you.Just practice sayin "NO!". As was said in previous post, there is no need to run from creditors, just from the family.Catleen
Foolish Angela:Go back and read the entire post. He is Korean and raised differently then us. Apparently you are expected to love and honor your parents and family to complete bankruptcy. Catleen
Well, there is such thing as a miracle.I was able to dissaude my estranged sister from coming here. It was hard, but I finally managed to do it.I am trying to buy time, and my strategy seems to be working.Thank you for all your advices! Later. Is anyone else besides me beginning to wonder about sqlking's dramas?It's better than watching "Days of our Lives" anyway, and I'm really looking forward to the next episode!By the way, why "sqlking"? Is it short for "squeal king" ?
I think the Peace Corps is still taking volunteers. They don't pay much and the living conditions can be quite rustic. Yep, they still are, but the application process is very LOOOOOOONG. Takes an average of one year from application until you leave, if you pass medical examinations. And you need to be able to prove that you can meet all of your financial obligations before you go.FriedaChopsticksformer Peace Corps Volunteer
Here's what you do. You make a choice:--keep living this way--change your name & move, & put these people out of your life forever. If you don't change your name, then move, make your number unlisted, and don't contact them.You have to decide whether you will follow tradition & keep doing what you've always done, or break with Korean tradition, & be American enough to choose self over family. Lots of us have had to do it.If you choose to keep living this drama, don't be surprised if people tire of hearing about it. YOU are choosing it.Wingenit
2500 dollars in stock? Pay that boss off already and get a better job! :)
Is anyone else besides me beginning to wonder about sqlking's dramas?One word:Troll.
Troll. .. help a new Fool out here... what uh, does that mean?cluelessly yours,angela
Go back and read the entire post. He is Korean and raised differently then us. Apparently you are expected to love and honor your parents and family to complete bankruptcy. Ok, fine. Cultural differences. I understand. But lets work with it. Something like this:Being in debt makes you unhappy, sqlKing (does that mean sequel king, btw? I'm a programmer too...). You came to these boards seeking financial freedom. Having debts isn't going to do that. So lets get you out of debt. But PROBLEM! You have cultural differences that include hostile family members. They are putting kinks in your plans to financial freedom. We need to consider that. HOW are they kinking your plans up? THIS is where we can help. Are you cosigned on their loans? Do they have credit cards you are responsible for? LEGALLY, how are they making your life miserable?I'm not saying we can fix the cultural aspect- I don't know enough to help there. But lets see your budget. Show us where your family is draining it. Let's see if we can't do anything to help!People here at the Fool WANT to help. Someone helped me when I first came on board. I'd like to return the favor.I said I was frustrated last time because you won't reveal any more physical details- thus leaving the Fool community with our virtual hands tied securely behind our back. And I still mean it. If there is something more I don't know- such as you just wanted to vent and you'd rather we kept our big fat noses to ourselves- fine. I can respect that. I do have a big nose. But I wish you would let us know what's going on.Concernedly yours,Ang "I just made a word up, I think" ela
A "Troll" in this context is someone who posts on message boards trying to get a reaction out of the members of the board. Such as constantly annoying, arguing, or just making stuff up.My Troll alert has been up for some time, but this last post set it off full blast. Every post adds new information, more unbelievable than the last.I suspect that's what this is, a troll trying to develop his own thread. Look at everyone else who has legitimatly looked for help. They have left detailed messages, and have supplied additional information when asked.This troll has done nothing but take up our time. I was going to post something earlier, but did not want to seem heartless should I have been wrong. I was releived to see others seem to have the same suspicions.I'll enjoy the drama from here on out for what it is. For now, good night.Logan
Troll. .. help a new Fool out here... what uh, does that mean?A troll (and I don't really think the term is accurate in this case) is someone who shows up on a board and makes a deliberately outrageous statement for the purpose of annoying the board.Past examples include people who go to the Choosing to Live Without Kids board, and explain why children are the most important things in the world, and why everyone should have them. Or people who appear on the Atheist Fools board in an attempt to convert the posters there. (Or, in a turnabout situation, people who show up on the Christian Fools board and sneer at religion). And there was a person who showed up on Pet Lovers about a year ago and announced that the only possible method of dog training was a club. He finally went away when every single Pet Lover announced that the person had been P-Boxed.Nancypossibly an excessive explanation, but I wanted to be clear.
FoolishAngela,You wrote, ... sqlKing (does that mean sequel king, btw? I'm a programmer too...). ...Well then you probably realize that SQL (Structured Query Language) is probably the most dominate, uniform and portable relational database languages available. The syntax for the language is portable and independent of the underlying storage system. SQL is the offshoot of research work done by IBM into the then relatively new field of relational database back in the late '70s. IBM published the grammar for SQL and it has since been revised and adopted by appropriate standard bodies.I presume that the name sqlking is simply a boast about his prowess at database development.- JoelWho's also a programmer, though I don't do much with databases.
And there was a person who showed up on Pet Lovers about a year ago and announced that the only possible method of dog training was a club. He finally went away when every single Pet Lover announced that the person had been P-Boxed.I would have just replied my doggy doesn't like fizzy beverages.Sometimes playing incredibly stupid is a lot of fun...
And there was a person who showed up on Pet Lovers about a year ago and announced that the only possible method of dog training was a clubReally?! Oh my... how many flames did he collect? At least our troll is not that bad. He has entertainment value, IMO.
Joel,Thanks for the explanation. That "sqlking" name has been bugging me for a bit, I couldn't figure out what it stood for. I program a lot myself, but I use SAS. Heard of it? It's for statisticians. I believe our databases are Oracle - but the Oracle programmers usually convert whatever we need into SAS so that we can interrogate it.
Some people are saying I am a troll. I wish I were one (i.e. I wish all of these things happening to me were not real.)If I was continuing to put up with my family's antics, I wouldn't have posted these to this board to begin with.The reason I am posting here is to ask for advices. Yes, SQLKing is for sql. I am learning SQL, and I want to be good on that. Hence Sqlking.I already settled my debt with my boss and am working 16 hrs/day. I am also not declaring bankruptcy and for now keeping my accounts current.I don't know why my changing ways upsets some people.It's OK to doubt someone, but it's not OK to make fun of others' misfortunes.Going to work now. Later.
Aranknitter,You wrote, I program a lot myself, but I use SAS. Heard of it? It's for statisticians. I believe our databases are Oracle - but the Oracle programmers usually convert whatever we need into SAS so that we can interrogate it. I've heard of SAS; but I know next to nothing about it. Oracle is just an [expensive] SQL database platform. I've not really done anything with it either. My only experience with SQL was in a college database survey course almost 15 years ago. The instructor made us do relatively small projects in DBASE II, SQL and some out-dated mainframe hierarchical database system. Of course they went from oldest to newest technology, so the SQL project was crammed into the last 2-3 weeks of the class.I was quite interested in databases during college and had quickly landed a job writing software for insurance companies shortly after I started college. That led me to research database technologies a great deal outside of school. I realized later [during my second job as a programmer] that my interest was mostly in figuring out how the data structures and algorithms worked and how to apply them to provide the fastest possible access. My interests evolved from there to focus mainly on low-level software development, performance profiling, analysis and optimization. My second job during college involved me in a lot of low-level assembly language projects that allowed me to work apparent miracles in performance and complexity in relatively small, slow machines. It was a real boost to my ego, so I've tried to stay along that general line of work ever since. Today I work for a company that does digital video server products. My work is mostly feature development and debugging of device drivers for a specialized line of MPEG video server boards. I don't get to write much assembly language, more's the pity. However, past jobs have had me working on CAD tools, I/C device simulations, circuit design verification, BIOS support and video graphics drivers as well as some custom embedded work. That has all been pretty cool; but not much to do with databases really…- JoelWho probably didn't need to post his resume... ;-)
If you can't cope with a frenzied relative, there's no way you'd be able to cope with what the military usually gets thrown at them every day, anyway.The military would be a walk in the park compared to his relatives, from the sound of it.
all you post is vauge, short, indescriptive cries for helpI thought he was just venting. We're still allowed to that, aren't we?:)As far as the particulars of his debt (why he's responsible, or not responsible), he's already mentioned all that in previous threads.
At least our troll is not that bad. Not yet, maybe. But since he's begun to threaten his own demise at the hands of his knife-wielding sister, I suspect his drama will only escalate. Were I afraid for my life, I'd be calling police, not posting on message boards.I would wholeheartedly recommend that people stop responding to him. Particularly since his default responses to any real advice are "no" and "I can't".-Poppy
I already settled my debt with my boss This is great! Now, you can potentially start looking for another job that would pay better.Good luck!DizChick
- JoelWho probably didn't need to post his resume... ;-) I read it. With interest. 8^DOnward!Tamarian...boring people with her own resume since 1902...
<MsPoppy Date: 12/5/03 6:12 PM Number: 174385 >Not yet, maybe. But since he's begun to threaten his own demise at the hands of his knife-wielding sister, I suspect his drama will only escalate. Were I afraid for my life, I'd be calling police, not posting on message boards. My sister is in overseas, so calling the police at this point does no good.You think my story is funny. I wish it was fun to me, too.It's not a good manner to laugh at other people's misfortunes.
This post, in rereading it, is kind of harsh. I don't mean to be a big jerk- know that the love is there. But so is the frustration.I agree with angela. Actually, though, instead of feeling frustrated I just doubt the OP's intent and honesty. I have known many online who make up drama to garner symthpathy. While I do not know if that happens on the Fool, it wouldn't surprise me to see it happen. If the OP's sister is so dangerous, then whether or not she is angry over him not co-signing is the least of his worries. I would be talking to the police about a protective order, telling her in writing that she is not welcome in my home and cutting off the relationship. Of course I have a history of not taking Bullsh*t.
I ask a very basic question. If your sister has no money; how will she pay for a plane ticket to see you?
My sister is in overseas, so calling the police at this point does no good.You can get a restraining order, pet.
Good grief. This story is getting better and better.I can't wait for the next installment.
One word:Troll. I think you nailed it. That's been my thoughts for a while.Along with the woman who's life exploded when her husband left the country, drained the accounts, had a bunch of hidded credit cards, but had "no family" except the adult kids that showed up in later posts...
Along with the woman who's life exploded when her husband left the country, drained the accounts, had a bunch of hidded credit cards, but had "no family" except the adult kids that showed up in later posts...There was one a while back that a bunch of posters actually raised money for and set up a PayPal account. The recipient disappeared shortly thereafter.Whether OP is a troll or not, when the drama quotient hits the red zone, I stop listening. "The end is near", indeed. OP's in the old P-Box now. Problem solved.
You sound like someone who's spent quite a bit of time on Usenet...
Huh? What's usenet?
The first message boards on the Internet.I figured you had spent some time there, since you can identify bridge dwellers so well. But I guess not...
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