<<<<I'm at my wits end. I hate arguing with DW, I want to make her happy, and I love her dearly, but I think this is nuts. I've told her that if she insists on this, I will be deeply unhappy, but she wants to have her cake and eat it too: she wants both (1) for me to agree to it and (2) for me to be happy about it. Agreeing to an allowance like this is hard enough, but I'm really considering it. To ask for me to be happy about it in addition seems unreasonable. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do and this is causing a ton of stress for me. Any suggestions? >> This is grossly unreasonable, and unfair. She's really being financially abusive.>> I coined a term --- financial abuse! Actually that sounds like a good one, playing off the idea of physically abusive relationships.So--- should we choose to become intolerant of financially abusive relationships that saddle a couple with unreasonable debt levels in order to permit one person --- or perhaps both, to spend unreasonably?The victim in a physically abusive relationship tends to wind up in the hospital. The victim in a financially abusive relationship tends to wind up in a bank filling out loans applications ---or bankruptcy court. Should loan officers or lawyers be trained and expected to intervene the way doctors are with physical abuse?Seattle Pioneer
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