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A novice went to a monastery where the monks were only allowed to speak two words a year, and those to the abbot. At the end of each year they were given an audience and said their two words. Naturally they were expected to be something along the lines of 'Jesus loves' or some other eternal verity. However at the end of his first year the novice offered, 'Bed hard' and at the end of the second year, 'Food bad' and at the end of the third year his two words were, 'I quit'. 'I'm not surprised,' said the abbot, 'you've done nothing but complain ever since you came here.'

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