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That's the title of this book a close friend got me years ago on depression and anxiety. Thought it was an appropriate title for this post.

To Cindy, Plaidy, AC, and anyone else who may be at the 4 Provinces right now...:

I had a mild anxiety attack at around 3:30 and have been in bed ever since. I just got a phone message from Cindy that brought a huge smile to my face and cracked me up. Now I feel even worse. :( I obviously let you all down. And for that I'm sorry.

If you've tracked my postings since my return to TMF, you would have noticed I still, at times, post on the Depression board. I'm still battling it after all this time. I'm on meds, which help tremendously. But for some stupid reason, I didn't take them today.

It's as if I sub-consciously wanted to sabotage my final day here in the area. And nobody got hurt except for those who decided it would be a good idea to meet up with me during my stay. Meaning, you, the reader.

So now, I'm sitting here, unshowered, unshaven, t-shirt and boxers, pissed as all hell at myself.

I mean, it's almost as if I'm an addict. It's a real problem, one that I thought I had conquered. When it starts to affect the ones you care about and the ones you are lucky enough to call friends, it's time to sit up and slap yourself in the face and take notice.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this. I feel bad. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. And I have no idea how to make it up to any of you.

So, to AC, Plaidy, and Cindy, my sincerest apologies. And to anyone else who made it as well. I'm truly sorry.

-Brian.
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