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Author: Reitnut Big red star, 1000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Feste Award Nominee! Feste Award Winner! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 6326  
Subject: The Time Machine Date: 12/21/2000 3:51 PM
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I post often on another MF message board which is devoted to REITs and real estate investing. While I own some tech stocks, I fortunately did not become mesmerized by them. Anyway, this is submitted to all of you as merely something different from what you probably see all the time, and hopefully you'll find it just a bit entertaining:

Ralph


THE TIME MACHINE


A Time Machine is my Christmas wish
I hope it's under our tree;
And if you don't scare easily,
I'll take you aboard with me.

I dream of bright and shiny buttons –
One is labeled “Bubbles;”
These have created, as you know,
Some horrible investment troubles.

Never mind, dude, we're out of here;
Fasten your seatbelt, close the door;
I'm looking forward to La-La Land,
I can hear those dotcoms roar.

(Flashback 28 seconds to March 2000)

Hey, man, we didn't go far,
It's just nine months ago;
Gore and Bush are spending $millions,
And REITs hit a 3-year low.

Look at all the investment geniuses!
Net stocks triple in just a week;
Fortunes are created overnight
By every trader and computer geek.

Priceline's trading at $95,
Cheered on by Mary Meeker;
And would you believe that at such a time
No one's heard of Spieker?

E-tailing is the Newest New Thing,
All commerce done upon the 'Net;
A website's there for every need --
Yours, your child's – and even your pet.

Stores are history, it's plain to see,
Who'll ever visit the mall?
Amazon and E-Toys rule the world,
Their shares will never fall.

A few cranks whine about earnings per share --
Those bozos are really dumb;
We value stocks by visitor clicks --
If you build it, they will come.

Just Ask Jeeves for a Blue Martini,
And Dr. Koop for a cool RedHat;
The only risk's not being invested,
Sir Henry Blodgett will tell you that.

A few kooks and weirdoes piss into the wind,
Proclaiming the cheapness of REITs;
Those stocks are about as relevant today
As those odes by dear Mr. Keats.

Seven percent yield? Eight percent growth?
Come on, man, give me some credit;
We double that in just a day --
Reitster, you just don't get it!

Value investors are Hollow Men,
Who cares to heed their words?
Valuation models are merely for wimps,
And cash flow analysis for nerds.

Say, pard, it's eerie out here,
I'm ready to head for home;
Send us back to the comforting present --
Block's concluding his stupid poem.

(Flash forward 28 seconds to December 20)

Yo! We're back to late December, my friend,
The agonies of Florida are done;
Poor Al is packing for ol' Tennessee,
And smiling George has won.

And where do all our Growthies trade?
Should we be at all concerned?
Yikes! As you can see from the following chart
Our icons have crashed and burned.

[Note: Inserted here, in the original, is a graph of Priceline stock, falling from $100 last March to just over a buck today -- which apparently isn't picked up in Fooldom's discussion boards]

All the innocents were Razorfished
By those enticing Profitless Wonders;
Confusing genius with a wild bull market,
They made incredible investment blunders.

The vengeful carnage is wide and deep;
On the backs of heroes the Bear did tramp;
The loss in Microsoft stock alone
Is triple the equity REITs' market cap.

When capital flows excessively
And avarice easily prevails,
Whether it's tulips, land or equities,
All our good judgment fails.

“This time it's truly different”
We hear True Believers say;
But history always repeats itself
(Though never the exact same way).

Ah…and those poor and lowly Reitsters?
Do they remain locked within their cage?
You'll not believe me, my dear old friend, but
REIT stocks are all the rage!

Returns are five-and-twenty percent,
REITs no longer are hated and cursed!
I guess it all just goes to prove
That 'The Last Shall (eventually) Be First.'


Happy Holidays to all of you and your families – and please be kind to one who would spend a couple of precious hours writing such absurdities.
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