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Author: queenalia Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 5  
Subject: Re: How Do You Do It....... Date: 1/14/2008 12:03 PM
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Therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. At the moment, I *heart* boundaries. They are my special friend. It's sad, especially when I can see my mom trying every shot in her arsenal to get me to cry (because she thinks a conversation isn't honest, a relationship isn't deep, unless there are tears. Preferably mine.)...

We're lucky hubby's job has excellent mental health benefits; my therapist is a ten minute walk away. There are family members I do not speak to. There are family members who I have gone to great lengths to avoid them finding out my mailing address. (Unfortunately, as I discovered a few months ago, with enough internet footwork I can be found. Sigh.) And there are family members who I love and support... for certain, specified amounts of support.

I feel callous and cruel, but I've started a new family (husband, 1.5 children) and they are my highest obligation. Keeping *them* safe and healthy is more important than whether or not my mom cries the next time I see her.

Good luck,
alia
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