There's also a part-time job. And his allowance covers car expenses, clothes, lunch, and a few other things. If they take the allowance away, they'll probably have to cover at least some of the other costs he was paying. Why would they have to cover those things if they take the allowance away? He's got a job, and at his age, there is nothing wrong with paying for the things she has listed, though if he is still in high school, I might opt for providing his clothes, but that's the only thing on the list that I would adjust. My kids pay for everything on that list from their earnings except for clothing and school lunches which they didn't buy because they took lunch from home when they were in high school. Now that they are in college, they provide their own spending money and books. We do still buy their clothing, but I haven't given them an allowance once they each had a regular way to make money, even though it was always part time.I don't think DM needs to give him an allowance just because the younger kids get one. He has a job, and he should use that money for his own expenses. I do know and appreciate that it is hard to watch the kids waste money, but even if you are providing allowance, the money is theirs to do with as they please.My own DS has trouble keeping track of his spending, so his solution is to be on a cash diet. At the beginning of the school year, he was overspending his budget, but he has recently made a change that seems to be working. Instead of taking out his weekly spending money on the weekend when he is tempted to spend it all and then needs more money during the week, he now takes it out on Monday. That way, by the time he reaches the weekend, he knows that he can spend whatever is left.This is not my preferred way to budget, but the adjustment seems to be helping him to manage his money. He also has a credit card which he has been told is for emergencies or large expenditures for which he shouldn't be carrying around that much cash [like his books].I think DM needs to find the method that resonates with her son. I really like the suggestion about taking all that money out in cash, and letting him see the pile go down with all that money going to bank fees instead of to 'stuff' that he could actually use. The visual might help. I had a friend who did something similar to teach her kids to budget, and she says it really opened their eyes.