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Author: retireewannabee Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 65431  
Subject: Re: new and divorcing - long Date: 5/3/2011 2:52 PM
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Things have moved along.

Had The Discussion with the husband and he is of the same mind: it's over, let's end this. Very peaceful. Neither will get lawyers so we can be in charge of our own settlement and keep as many of our pennies as we can.

what a relief!

Oddly, hubs figured he'd move out and get along on his pension and SS, wasn't asking for/expecting any other money. I make a good living and do expect to pay him maint and will have to give him some of my 401k nest egg as it is very clearly A Marital Asset. we'll work it out as he understands I am not going to let him starve!

On the other front (Other Guy), that has also moved along. Accidentally, I might add!

Came to find out that he feels that he 'let me slip away' all those years ago when I married my husband.

That was a shock to me! But his finding out I was divorcing and was ready to date caused him to want to ask if he could be at the top of my Date List.

Nice revelation.

We kissed, nothing more, still a ring on my finder. It was enuf to find the chemistry we'd hoped to. I've not been a cheater to this point, and while it maybe wouldn't matter now, I'm not in a hurry to take up with someone. We love each other, want to be together, that's good enuf for now, time to be together later. I'm prepared to live alone without a special man in my life. I can wait. I'm not a big one on keeping up appearances, this is more about finishing my marriage without being an adulterer. I'm not sure my conscience would be ok with that.

It was quite something to have that discussion with The Other Guy. I could not believe that he'd felt he'd missed his chance so long ago, and he couldn't believe that I felt the same way about him. Lots of interesting revelations.

I didn't know he had those feelings for me. He's been nothing but a gentleman, and still was as we found out that we both have strong feelings. He also said it was hard at tax time to not touch me, hold me, Tell Me.

It will be difficult at first for the mutual friends, but, we don't actually care. We want to be together and the others will deal with it and hopefully come to be happy for us.

Passage of time has again helped my life Get Better.
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