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Author: FlippoHip Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308557  
Subject: Re: The Plan Date: 1/28/2014 1:24 PM
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This is a point that worries me. It is likely that your brother could outlive your mother. After her death is not a good time for him to be transitioned to a group home. Is there a plan for his long term care?

He is physically disabled (destroyed kneecap. Walks with a cane now) and there was some minor brain damage (car accident). He can function a bit. He held a job as a cashier for a while, but it was too physically demanding (they wouldn't let him have a chair.) He could do something else, but chooses not to.
The brain damage left him with memory problems, so he can't judge time very well. I will call and tell him we are coming to visit in two hours, but when we get there he thinks the conversation was a week ago (and he's mad). He will ask the same question over and over, because he doesn't remember asking it 5 minutes ago. He tells the same story over and over. Several times a day. He gets easily frustrated and lashes out. He isn't pleasant to be around most of the time and I do not want him to live with us.

He can take care of himself for short periods of time. A week or so is his limit. He has two sons, who he could move in with if he had to. They live in a different state.

He would probably be OK in a group home, but wouldn't like it. I tried to get him to move to some apartments that are for disabled veterans. 30% of your income and an efficiency apartment all to yourself. He thought they were too small.

My point of view on helping with my brother is different than with my mom. He CAN do things, he chooses not to. The memory problem is the biggie, and so is the anger management.
He could get help with the anger issues. He chooses not to. He is very self absorbed and I wish he would move out of my moms house. But, she's OK with it, so I stay out of it. It's her house and her life.
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