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Author: mlk58 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 1961  
Subject: Re: Uninvited Guests (kinda long) Date: 3/21/2001 5:28 PM
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This is only hard if you make it hard. Call up the offending guests, and say something like this:

"We received your response card and we are excited that you and your spouse will be coming to our wedding. Unfortunately, though, we're not set up to accommodate children so we will not be able to accommodate Susie and Johnny."

If they are polite at all, they will say "Oh, we're terribly sorry to have misunderstood! We will be there without Susie and Johnny." Then you say "Great! We're looking forward to seeing you."

They may say something like "If Susie and Johnny can't come, then we won't be there, either." In that case, you say "I'm sorry you won't be able to make it. We'll miss you."

Whatever you do, DO NOT get into a discussion about the merits of children at weddings. Your guests may say "Why can't you accommodate children?" You reply "I'm terribly sorry, but we're just not set up for children." If they persist ("But Susie and Johnny are very well-behaved!"), keep repeating "We're just not set up for children." Eventually you will wear them down and they will get the message.

Trust me -- this is the ONLY way to handle this situation. Don't get into your reasoning, and don't try to solve their problem for them. Just state your position and don't take "no" for an answer.

Now repeat after me:

"I'm terribly sorry, but we're not able to accommodate children."

"I'm sure Susie and Johnny are very well-behaved, but we are not set up for children."

"We will miss you at the wedding, but we are not set up to accommodate children."

"We are very fond of Susie and Johnny, but we won't be able to accommodate children at the wedding."

"I'm terribly sorry, but we're not able to accommodate children."

"I feel your pain, but the site is not set up to accommodate children."

Good luck!

mlk58
loving the "broken record" technique since 1902
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