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Author: lizmonster Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 2282  
Subject: Re: Well, aren't I a dork? Date: 3/29/2003 11:58 AM
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This is turning into something of a meta-topic; but anyway:

Authors of books about how women must hurry, hurry, hurry to have babies while they still can probably have NO link to the business of Assisted Reproduction, but they know that its a hot button that will create a big buzz and sell copies. So they do it. And it creates a lot of uncertainty and panic among women that is not deserved or realistic.

I would link this to society's general uncertainty about women's changing roles. Anything that encourages the status quo is popular, because it plays on our fears of the unknown. I remember when the big fertility "story" broke - I wondered where the news was. I'd always understood that fertility took a drop at 35+; the new studies seemed to say "No, really - we MEAN it." There were some interesting facts in the data presented; but the manner in which they were presented by the popular media was pure FUD. (They've got poor frissy believing she'll never have kids if she doesn't get knocked up by 27, for God's sake!)

Meanwhile, there are authors capitalizing on people's desperation. There are doctors and clinics making fortunes capitalizing on people's desperation. And those that do seem to be targeting women much more than men, but the fact that they do it at all is what makes me sick.

They do it because they can. I posted earlier about how much we disliked the MD at the IVF clinic, and how we wouldn't go back to him; but you know, I haven't been pushed. Lots of folks out there would do anything and deal with anyone if it got them a child, and I can't blame them.

My chances of conceiving are low because I'm 38. Reality is reality, and the fact that it pisses me off doesn't change the fact that it's reality. But the other side of this reality is that I was in no position to have a child when I was younger. I didn't consciously wait for anything, so these media firestorms wouldn't have changed a damn thing for me.

-lizmonster

P.S. Of course, the other reason I'm pissed is that I brought up the possibility of children with my GYN at my annual, when I was 36, and he said "Well, we can talk about it when you get closer to doing it." Six month later - after I'd turned 37 - when I went it to ask about it, he absolutely FREAKED. "How old are you? 37? You're going to be 38??? And you've never been pregnant? Never???" I felt thoroughly betrayed by this man who'd been treating me for a decade. I haven't seen him since.
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