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Author: gym0 One star, 50 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 19222  
Subject: time and chores Date: 4/24/2006 10:11 PM
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Got some nice replies as my introduction to this group. Hope I will be
able to contribute. I have a few comments about your response.
To the gentleman that started two new businesses after retiring.
You didn't retire. You just shifted your responsibilities to
another area. I have met a couple of people that could never
retire. They never worked. My definition of work is doing
something when I would rather be doing something else. Their's
is doing something else when they would rather be doing what they
are doing. With one exception we neither envy nor pity the
each other. The exception is: When I come home from
a day of golf all hot, worn out, and disgusted with the game. My
wife shows no sympathy. When your group does the same thing they
get treated royally and urged not to work to hard.

To those of you that cannot find the time to goof off. My answer
is twofold. You wanted to do the chore in the first place. And
if this is incorrect you have not used my tried and true tactic of
screwing up badly every chore you are asked to do. Go to great
pains letting your wife know how hard you are trying to do it
right. You will be amazed at how quickly she decides to have
the chores done by outside pros, and how anxious she is for you
to get your butt on the golf course, or lake, or what have you.
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Author: MichaelRead Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Winner! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10399 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 12:11 AM
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By the same lights, Jim, coming home hot, tired and frazzled after golf is what you would do given your druthers. I come back from a day's fishing wind burned, clothes caked with salt and salmon blood, and tuckered out wanting only to sit and have a beer – and I chose to do that over and over.

As for the two companies I started up there's a story. I had my boat serviced at a place that was later sold and the new owner wasn't a nice person. The entire staff quit and it was my brain fart to get them together again to make a new marine company with me putting in the money while they supplied the expertise. My position, president, involves making sure there's beer in the fridge and TP in the washrooms.

I don't spend that much time at the company – the staff knows far more than I do about the marine business. My expertise is in the business of business and that's my contribution plus I really enjoy sitting with the staff on beer night hashing over the week.

I think the hardest thing in retiring was a sense of being too idle. Somewhere in there was a feeling of not being useful. That took almost a year to get over and it happened when we had the kitchen and bathrooms remodeled by a bunch of experts. I realized all I had to do was watch it happen and enjoy the result.

Now if the wind will abate across Georgia Strait this evening tomorrow looks good to get the boat out for the first time this year. I'm breaking in a new engine and, after that, wheeee.

MichaelR




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Author: Bobcatkitty Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10400 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 5:42 AM
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My theory is simple: The happiest people I have met in our 10+ years of being retired are those that have retired TO something, not FROM something.



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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10401 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 10:38 AM
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My theory is simple: The happiest people I have met in our 10+ years of being retired are those that have retired TO something, not FROM something.





Hmmmmm.... is wanting to take naps and read books and sit and stare at the view considered retiring TO something?

AM

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Author: Bobcatkitty Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10402 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:03 AM
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If that is what you enjoy and never had time to do those things, then yes, that's my definition of TO something. I think the saddest people are those who retire on a Friday, then get up Monday morning and start wondering what they are going to do with the rest of their lives.

If all they do is sit in front of the TV, while "the wife" brings them breakfast/lunch/dinner...along with a few beers, it's not much of an existence. I base my opinion of having the unfortunate situation of living in a +55 community, where the average age is close to 75. I've never seen so many miserable, bitter, angry people. And lordy, could they take a shower, wash their hair and put on some decent clean clothes.

To retire TO something I believe means finally having the time to pursue hobbies & activities that you never had the time to devout all your energies too. Whether that be a sport, taking adult education classes on subjects of interest, gardening, reading, volunteer work...OK, you get my point.

And finally, rant over.

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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10403 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:07 AM
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If that is what you enjoy and never had time to do those things, then yes, that's my definition of TO something. I think the saddest people are those who retire on a Friday, then get up Monday morning and start wondering what they are going to do with the rest of their lives.

If all they do is sit in front of the TV, while "the wife" brings them breakfast/lunch/dinner...along with a few beers, it's not much of an existence. I base my opinion of having the unfortunate situation of living in a +55 community, where the average age is close to 75. I've never seen so many miserable, bitter, angry people. And lordy, could they take a shower, wash their hair and put on some decent clean clothes.

To retire TO something I believe means finally having the time to pursue hobbies & activities that you never had the time to devout all your energies too. Whether that be a sport, taking adult education classes on subjects of interest, gardening, reading, volunteer work...OK, you get my point.

And finally, rant over.



But what you have said only reflects YOUR beliefs on what constitutes a happy retirement. What if some guy has dreamed all his life of sitting in front of the TV with his wife bringing him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. To HIM that might be heaven.

One thing we do have to avoid is projecting our own beliefs onto everyone else - because it is guaranteed that they will not apply to everyone else. :o)

AM

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Author: cliff666 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10404 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:09 AM
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I base my opinion of having the unfortunate situation of living in a +55 community, where the average age is close to 75. I've never seen so many miserable, bitter, angry people. And lordy, could they take a shower, wash their hair and put on some decent clean clothes.

Gee, that's not what it says in all those ads I see.

cliff

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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10405 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:44 AM
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I base my opinion of having the unfortunate situation of living in a +55 community, where the average age is close to 75. I've never seen so many miserable, bitter, angry people.



Many very old people are miserable and bitter because they are in pain and because they realize that their lives are almost over. They are also painfully aware that all those dreams they had of doing something worthwhile...writing the great American novel, climbing the highest mountain, contributing to society in some meaningful way.... are never going to be realized. This, in itself, is painful.

Most people never do anything in their whole lives worth mentioning on the broad scale. Most just work hard to take care of their families, take little vacations once in a while, and try to keep the weeds out of their yards.

Then, one day they look up and realize that it's almost all over. They ache and hurt and their movements are limited. They can't even open a door in these stupid houses designed by architects who haven't the sense to realize that levered door handles work best for the elderly and, instead, install those cheap round ones everywhere. They have families that don't want to hear the same stories over and over from "gramps", but those are the only stories he has to tell because he isn't able to get out and create new ones - and because those stories remind him of his youth when he was "somebody" even if just in his small circle of friends and family. Now, people pay little if any attention to him at all. Most people don't even see the elderly -- mostly out of choice and fear. They know that, one day, they will be there, too.

As Bette Davis once said, "Getting old ain't for sissies." And it's true. Getting old is painful -- both physically, and emotionally as you become more and more confined to limited spaces and as more and more people fall away and ignore you.

It's hard not to become bitter and angry under those circumstances. Why not cut them some slack?

AM

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Author: theHedgehog Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10406 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:53 AM
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Many very old people are miserable and bitter because they are in pain and because they realize that their lives are almost over. They are also painfully aware that all those dreams they had of doing something worthwhile...writing the great American novel, climbing the highest mountain, contributing to society in some meaningful way.... are never going to be realized. This, in itself, is painful.

Well said, AngelMay. Well said. But, even the world's greatest adventurer will be bitter and miserable if his old age is consumed with pain and limited mobility. In fact, I'd say that those knocked down from an active lifestyle probably suffer more. Memories are cold comfort when you have to grunt and groan just to get out of the chair to got to the potty.

Hedge

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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10407 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 11:57 AM
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Well said, AngelMay. Well said. But, even the world's greatest adventurer will be bitter and miserable if his old age is consumed with pain and limited mobility. In fact, I'd say that those knocked down from an active lifestyle probably suffer more. Memories are cold comfort when you have to grunt and groan just to get out of the chair to got to the potty.

Hedge




Yes. And what you have said reminds me of another thing I should have included -- loss of dignity. It's hard for anyone to be treated in an undignified manner and it's especially hard for the elderly who have to submit to it whether they like it or not due simply to their physical limitations.

AM

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Author: wcfenton Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10408 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 2:56 PM
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Many very old people are miserable and bitter because they are in pain and because they realize that their lives are almost over. They are also painfully aware that all those dreams they had of doing something worthwhile...writing the great American novel, climbing the highest mountain, contributing to society in some meaningful way.... are never going to be realized. This, in itself, is painful.

Most people never do anything in their whole lives worth mentioning on the broad scale. Most just work hard to take care of their families, take little vacations once in a while, and try to keep the weeds out of their yards.

Then, one day they look up and realize that it's almost all over. They ache and hurt and their movements are limited. They can't even open a door in these stupid houses designed by architects who haven't the sense to realize that levered door handles work best for the elderly and, instead, install those cheap round ones everywhere. They have families that don't want to hear the same stories over and over from "gramps", but those are the only stories he has to tell because he isn't able to get out and create new ones - and because those stories remind him of his youth when he was "somebody" even if just in his small circle of friends and family. Now, people pay little if any attention to him at all. Most people don't even see the elderly -- mostly out of choice and fear. They know that, one day, they will be there, too.

As Bette Davis once said, "Getting old ain't for sissies." And it's true. Getting old is painful -- both physically, and emotionally as you become more and more confined to limited spaces and as more and more people fall away and ignore you.

It's hard not to become bitter and angry under those circumstances. Why not cut them some slack?

-------------------

I'll have to echo Hedge's comment - "Well said"!! You do an excellent job of putting words together so that those who haven't arrived yet, so to speak, can better understand those of us who have. As a matter of fact...you have given me a better understanding of myself.

Regards,
Bill

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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10409 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 3:51 PM
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I'll have to echo Hedge's comment - "Well said"!! You do an excellent job of putting words together so that those who haven't arrived yet, so to speak, can better understand those of us who have. As a matter of fact...you have given me a better understanding of myself.

Regards,
Bill




Bill, thank you.
It gives me great pleasure that I, in whatever small way, helped you and others to understand. As Kermit the Frog says, "It isn't easy being green" -- a very profound statement if we just take the time to stop and think about it.

AM

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Author: Grumpybiker Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10410 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 3:53 PM
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Angelmay: <...What if some guy has dreamed all his life of sitting in front of the TV with his wife bringing him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. To HIM that might be heaven...>

Of course you know, AngelFace, that I don't believe in heaven.
I do all of my TV watching in bed and my darling wife has been bringing me breakfast, lunch, and dinner there for almost twenty years.

But so far, we are still able to go out and plant trees and go for long drives to visit friends and family in, say, upstate Washington, etc.

Regards,

Grumpy

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Author: AngelMay Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10411 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 3:56 PM
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But so far, we are still able to go out and plant trees and go for long drives to visit friends and family in, say, upstate Washington, etc.

Regards,

Grumpy





Uh huh.
So far.

AM
...thinks Mrs. Grumpy spoils you.... ;o)

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Author: Grumpybiker Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10412 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 4:07 PM
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AngelMay: <...thinks Mrs. Grumpy spoils you.... ;o)..>

Of course you are correct in that. Grumpwife does absolutely spoil me!
But she balances it out by bitching at me frequently!

Regards,

Grumpy

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Author: ibnana Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 10413 of 19222
Subject: Re: time and chores Date: 4/25/2006 10:20 PM
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What if some guy has dreamed all his life of sitting in front of the TV with his wife bringing him breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And when does the wife get to retire?

I never know what to answer on the surveys that ask for employment or retired. As far as I'm concerned, DH is retired, but I'm not and in fact my job is more stressful with him at home.

Carol

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