To be completely honest, I don't think she's thinking too clearly about the situation and was hoping we could help narrow her focus. At this moment, she doesn't want to get a lawyer involved as she isn't 100% sure what is really going on. I think she just wants to know what her options are. Though I whole heartedly agree that joing expenses before marriage isn't a smart move.Michele Lawyer. Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. Especially if she isn't 100% sure of what's going on, and there are joint accounts. Her STBX could clean out the accounts and leave her swinging in the wind about how to pay the mortgage (and if you think he would never do such a thing, my dad did it to my mom when she had his children in the house on which she could not pay said mortgage). I think it's okay to err on the side of paranoia in this situation, and a lawyer would be better qualified in helping her narrow her focus, anyway.Tell her to talk to a lawyer just to find out what her options are. Tell her getting a lawyer involved does not have to mean hostilities will ensue (I think her DH has already started the hostilities, but it's technically true that involving a lawyer does not necessarily mean it won't be an amicable divorce), and that she'll at least have real information, not you know, what her coworkers know (I am not trying to be mean to you and your coworkers, here, you may very well know a lot, but she really should talk to a lawyer).Good luck to your friend. She is going to need it.--Booa
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