To Dan's wife, Ish and other parents with "deadbeat" fathers (or mothers),

Please be sure that your will is up to date and states clearly who you would like to have your child in case of your death. One of my friends just went through a nightmare trying to get her sister's children after her sister and her fiance died. The children went to the father who only wanted them for the social security money (never had anything to do with them before the mother died). After a year and a lot of money my friend and her husband finally got the children but it was only because the father stopped showing up for court dates. Otherwise he would still have the children. A will wouldn't have fixed things (they still would have had a court struggle) but it would have made it easier for my friend in the begining.

Lael