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Author: TMFHunzi Big red star, 1000 posts Home Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 974  
Subject: Re: I'm acting Date: 6/22/2000 3:25 PM
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To excuse poor behavior as a 'disease' is even more unfair and damaging. Discipline is something that ultimately comes from within a person. Punishments, rewards, and above all examples from adults develp this character trait in a child.

And will you continue to excuse anti-social behavior when the child grows up? 'It's not my fault' seems to be the mantra of the Ritalin generation


I've lived on both sides of this issue.

My younger brother had ADHD, took Ritlan, and my parents let him get away with murder. "He had a problem". You bet he did, as soon as we were out of our parents' sight he had a problem! He is now 30, never held down a steady job, had problems with drugs and the law, and has been generally a loser.

Now I have a son with ADD, and yes, he takes medication. In fact he takes several medications over the course of the day. It's not fun sending your kid off to camp with 3 or 4 prescriptions. However, the words "He has a problem" have never once left my lips. I refuse for allow my standards of behavior to drop due to his disabilities. In fact, I am probably a bit tougher on him, because he needs to learn to control his impulsiveness and his temper, and not do something stupid that could get someone (very likely him) hurt or killed.

I am dealing with an issue right now related to this. He and some other boys were involved in an altercation over a ball at day camp. One child was hurt. My son said he may have been the one who did it, but another child also admitted it might have been him. The teacher is letting them off, because she can't prove who did it, and the injured child doesn't know either, and it wasn't too serious. I questioned my kid after he came home, and I think his story stinks. He's pulled a similar thing here at home with his sister. I suspect he did it. We read him the riot act when he came home, saying even if it wasn't him, he needed to not get into those sorts of situations, and discussed how to better handle them in the future. I also told him that if he was involved in another problem the consequence was that he would be withdrawn from camp whether the camp dismissed him or not.

Kids who have problems controling their impulses need to be taught to be more aware that their actions have consequences, and I'd rather he learned that at 11 than when he is older and may have more serious legal consequenses to deal with.

Always ;-)
Hunzi

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