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Author: impolite Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 5056  
Subject: Re: Dealing with racist relatives Date: 10/16/2012 9:10 AM
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Unfortunately, the general culture of non-confrontation means that others won't speak up.

Here's the thing - you cannot change them. The racists or the non-confronters.

Making a stink at the wedding will just make YOU look like the bad guy, since everyone else has taken the Pretend Uncle Racist Is Talking To Himself approach.

So I would just ignore. If for some reason you are approached with racism, a simple "Wow." delivered deadpan will be subtle enough to not make you the trouble maker, but WILL alert others present you have their number.

Then walk away.

I'm from a part of the country that has a very subtle (and at times, NOT so subtle) racism to it, and it can be hard to navigate the line between my own sense of justice and Keeping The Peace at an event that is not mine.

My *own* events I've laid down the law on - for example, at my first wedding I warned everyone at advance gay and non-white people would be there, sometimes a combo of the two, and that ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENTS were to be made, everyone on their best behavior. Everyone behaved.

Since it's not YOUR event, you don't really have the...authority, I guess is the word....to police behavior. The best you can do is avoid it, and if unavoidable, make no scene and leave.

Yeah it sucks. Family stuff does a lot of the time.

impolite
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