Unfortunately, these kids' parents have probably reinforced the "Bank of Aunt P" approach to money management. I've not given money in the past but have helped out with education expenses, laptops, etc. I suspect that you have unwittingly been enabling the parents' attitude towards money and how they just spend it. As long as the kids and parents can depend on you to pay for things like education expenses and laptops, there is no need for anyone else to be saving or responsible for those things.It will be hard, but in the long run, it may be better for all of you to just say no the next time. Let the kids get loans for college expenses, at least for the first few years. If they do the work and are getting good grades, you could opt to pay for their last year of college as a gift. You could also opt to pay off some of their school loans after they graduate, so they'd still get the benefit of your money, but they'd not be expecting it, and would have proven that they do know how to earn their own way.One of the big reasons that I want my kids to have a college education, and it's all on my dime, is so that they won't have to be dependent on anyone else to support them in life, and can always provide their own food and their own roof over their heads. I think if you let these kids prove that they're headed in the right direction first without any expectations about support from you, you'd be teaching them to stand on their own two feet and always be able to provide for themselves. Plus, any gift you'd give them later on to help defray those costs would be more appreciated.
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