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Author: JavaTraveler Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 196899  
Subject: Update on Sister Date: 1/30/2002 12:34 AM
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Just to give you folks a heads up about my sister. When last I talked about her, it was in regards to her "kind of marriage" in the Baptist Church. Well it seems the pastor visited her this week and told her she NEEDS to make her marriage legal. Seems he did a no-no with this church, but not legal, marriage.(This is where I would normally say...I told you so). He told her, he was willing to make it legal, if she signed an affidavit stating she just never filed the original license. This would be an outright LIE. She and her boyfriend have no desire to get married at this time. They only did this because the pastor told them this was the price to be an active memebr of the church.

Evidently some higher ups have heard about this questionable marriage ceremony, and the pastor is in trouble.

We talked about her involvement in this church. She told me she thinks she made a mistake joining this church. I agreed. Last thing she needs is a lying pastor.

I hope my sister gets out of this church.

Charlie
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Author: jrdown Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72864 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 1/30/2002 12:42 AM
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Charlie ~

Good Heavens!!!!!

She and her BF should RUN from this church pastor! What an insult. What an affront.

I'm glad the pastor is in trouble ................ he should be! He should, also, be removed from his position.

If your sister and her BF do not wish to get married at this time, then they shouldn't.

However, they should not expect a more mainstream church to support their living arrangements.

It is obvious that if she desires a committed relationship with the Lord then she needs to do more study & prayer.

Thanks for letting us know the news about your sister. I was wondering.


Robyn

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Author: Smartaz Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72881 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 1/30/2002 10:25 AM
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When last I talked about her, it was in regards to her "kind of marriage" in the Baptist Church. Well it seems the pastor visited her this week and told her she NEEDS to make her marriage legal. Seems he did a no-no with this church, but not legal, marriage.

A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.

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Author: JavaTraveler Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72888 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 1/30/2002 12:35 PM
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A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.


There was no documentation anywhere. She was told she had to get "married" to be a Sunday School teacher. She was also told this would be a marriage recognized by Jesus only. This whole situation smells, the pastor smells, and my sister is now looking for another church.

Charlie

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Author: dcarper Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72945 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 1/31/2002 5:14 PM
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and my sister is now looking for another church.

At least there is some good news. I'm sure she can find one better suited.

David

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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72990 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 10:06 AM
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There was no documentation anywhere. She was told she had to get "married" to be a Sunday School teacher. She was also told this would be a marriage recognized by Jesus only.
..............................

WOW! I thought giving up my evening glass of wine to sing in the choir was bad!!!!

Becky

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Author: rbednarski Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72992 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 10:24 AM
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"WOW! I thought giving up my evening glass of wine to sing in the choir was bad!!!!"

I think that is much worse. You were asked to give up something that is explicitly allowed in the Bible, your evening glass of wine. Charlie's sister was asked to give up something that is explicitly condemned in the Bible, fornication. Your situation dealt with man's standard while hers dealt with God's standard. I don't agree with what that pastor did with his hokey ersatz marriage, but neither would I want my daughters to have a Sunday School teacher who was living in sin. Quantum difference, IMO.

God bless,

Rich

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Author: HisDelight Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 72994 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 10:28 AM
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I don't know if Becky meant she was asked to or if she decided to on her own. Probably depends on the size of that wine glass, too. *LOL*. Sorry, this came in before I got up to get my house in order *g* (any excuse will do for me this morning).

Pam

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Author: JavaTraveler Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73001 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 2:42 PM
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Charlie's sister was asked to give up something that is explicitly condemned in the Bible, fornication. Your situation dealt with man's standard while hers dealt with God's standard. I don't agree with what that pastor did with his hokey ersatz marriage, but neither would I want my daughters to have a Sunday School teacher who was living in sin. Quantum difference, IMO.


Just so I am clear Rich, You are somehow weighing my sister's alleged sin, with the pastor's lying, and trying to get her to lie as well?

Charlie

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Author: rbednarski Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73005 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 9:21 PM
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"Just so I am clear Rich, You are somehow weighing my sister's alleged sin, with the pastor's lying, and trying to get her to lie as well? "

I'm not saying your sister should lie at all. I'm saying that if she chooses not to live up to the moral standard of the bible and the church she should not be a Sunday School teacher. There was nothing wrong with the pastor telling your sister that so long as she lives with the guy and is not married she cannot teach Sunday School, IMO. Where the pastor went wrong was concocting this phony marriage idea, IMO.

The only weighing I did was to opine that it was worse for Becky to be expected to give up her evening glass of wine in order to be in the choir than it was to expect your sister to live up to the standards of the church in order to be a Sunday School teacher, since in the former case there is no such biblical injunction while in the latter case there is.

God bless,

Rich

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Author: JavaTraveler Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73007 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/2/2002 10:13 PM
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Thanks for clearing that up Rich. While I disagree with you as far as my sister being able to teach Sunday school, I am glad you are not agreeing with what the pastor did.


Charlie

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Author: frindon Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73015 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/3/2002 3:52 AM
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I'm not saying your sister should lie at all. I'm saying that if she chooses not to live up to the moral standard of the bible and the church she should not be a Sunday School teacher. There was nothing wrong with the pastor telling your sister that so long as she lives with the guy and is not married she cannot teach Sunday School, IMO. Where the pastor went wrong was concocting this phony marriage idea, IMO.



There are many dirty taps with pure water coming from them.

Frindon


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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73037 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/3/2002 5:40 PM
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"WOW! I thought giving up my evening glass of wine to sing in the choir was bad!!!!"

I think that is much worse. You were asked to give up something that is explicitly allowed in the Bible, your evening glass of wine.

............................
Rich,

I know. That's what I told the board!

I told this story when I first came here----Lawrence made the cutest reply! Remember L!?

I told the pastor that I would give up the wine for THEM, to sing in the choir. But I wasn't doing it for Jesus, because I did not believe HE cared!!
Pastor started laughing, rare----He said that was fine with him.
They were sooooo strict. Had a church "code"(?) all written up in a little booklet for people who wanted to serve. Another for Members. All together, bingo or board games without "devil cards" were about all you could do--without money (real or pretend). No dancing, movies, cards, dress code---reminded me of a church my girlfriend went to in high school, she ended up pregnant and we all said, "What else could she do?" (We weren't a very holy bunch) But that is how we felt.

We all piled up in groups and went together to dances and school sports, the beach---Had a blast, but in groups. I was rarely in a position where sex was a problem and liked it that way. But, this little gal couldn't go with us! She got a sweet boyfriend in 10th grade and all they could do was sit at his place or her's---it was bound to happen. Rules are legalism in my mind. But try to tell them that!
I stayed because I learned so much there and so did my young children. I knew I would change eventually, because of my children and those silly rules. And, by golly, they were virgins when they graduated! We won't talk about college. <sigh>

But, it's a different world now, isn't it? So much taught and the Health dept. taking over my job and handing out birth control. So does anyone have teenagers here who wants to talk about this? I had my share of run ins with the school--but a husband at that time who undermined me and signed everything they brought home and it was "their little secret."

Your sister,
Becky

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Author: Urban123 Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73039 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/3/2002 5:57 PM
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Becky said: "...But, it's a different world now, isn't it? So much taught and the Health dept. taking over my job and handing out birth control. So does anyone have teenagers here who wants to talk about this? I had my share of run ins with the school--but a husband at that time who undermined me and signed everything they brought home and it was "their little secret."

Sweet Sister Becky,

Isn't God great, that in spite of all that has occurred in your life, you have been saved by the blood of the cross, by the grace of our Lord?

Thanks for your witness. Praise God! Amen!

Your brother in Christ,
Urban

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Author: jrdown Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73040 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/3/2002 6:01 PM
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Becky ~

I have teens. Three girls at 18,16,14 and Becca will be 13 in October.
One boy who's 8.


Robyn

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Author: mlk58 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73077 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/4/2002 4:36 PM
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A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.

< delurk >

This is not true in California. Family Code section 300 provides:

"§ 300. Consent; issuance of license and solemnization

"Marriage is a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between a man and a woman, to which the consent of the parties capable of making that contract is necessary. Consent alone does not constitute marriage. Consent must be followed by the issuance of a license and solemnization as authorized by this division, except as provided by Section 425 and Part 4 (commencing with Section 500)."

(Note: Neither section 425 nor Part 4 abrogates the license requirement. Section 425 provides for issuance of a license for a previously solemnized marriage; Part 4 provides for issuance of a "confidential license" for couples who have already been living together.)

California Penal Code section 30 makes it a crime to do what Charlie's sister's pastor did:

"§ 360. Solemnizing marriages; presentment of license; authorization; false returns; misdemeanor

"Every person authorized to solemnize any marriage, who solemnizes a marriage without first being presented with the marriage license, as required by Section 421 of the Family Code; or who solemnizes a marriage pursuant to Part 4 (commencing with Section 500) of Division 3 of the Family Code without the authorization required by that part; or who willfully makes a false return of any marriage or pretended marriage to the recorder or clerk and every person who willfully makes a false record of any marriage return, is guilty of a misdemeanor."

< lurk >

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Author: Smartaz Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73126 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/5/2002 2:00 PM
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This is not true in California.

Kalifornia has many other problems regarding proper jurisdiction and conforming with the law of the land. For instance, the court has refused to uphold the constitutional freedom from unwarranted search in that state.

Marriage existed long before the Kalifornia legislature decided to license it, and was defined by common law long before it was a subject of any state law. More presidents of the US were married without licenses than with. The whole idea of licensing did not exist until after the civil war. It was made up to prevent interracial marriages. Getting a license for marriage is a relatively recent custom, only a little more than a century old, and it is no more than a custom. Kalifornia does not have authority to assess any penalties.

If you're in Kalifornia, I suggest you find another state to live in. One that still operates within the law of the land.

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Author: mlk58 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73127 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/5/2002 2:45 PM
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I'm speechless.

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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73141 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 6:17 AM
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I have teens. Three girls at 18,16,14 and Becca will be 13 in October.
One boy who's 8.

..................
Robyn,

Are they in private school or public? Big difference!

I raised my kids in Grand Haven because it was/is a Christian community.
Mostly run by Christian Reformed who believe in legislating morality.
I'm a total hypocrite, I know, because, in general, I don't believe this works. But in a small(then) town, it makes for a safe atmosphere for kids. Most of their teachers were Christians--no preaching, but a general atmosphere of believers teaching "love thy neighbor."

But, by high school, there was this "sophmore" class parents had to sign for--- a "forum"? Anyway, that is where they taught the sex ed, and other controversial topics. I actually don't KNOW what all they taught. I didn't mind the sex ed so much, we had already talked about it at home.
BUT, they had the Health Dept. people come in and tell them about their "rights" to birth control, FREE, and all the info on STD's(that was OK, too.)
Problem? The next year, my youngest daughter came home one day and asked if I thought she should have a "PAP" test. I told her she was still pretty young (just 17), and then asked if she was worried about something. She said the other girls were getting them and shouldn't she, too? I said, it couldn't hurt, but I'd rather she went to our family doctor. Well, she already had an appointment at the Health Dept.
I said, OK. But, said our family doctor knew her inside and out and could do a better job because of that. No, she didn't want him doing "this"----felt better going to a stranger.
A few days later, she came in later than usual, and said it was "over."
I laughed and said, "Fun, huh?" Then, I got to thinking----and I just
blurted out---"Honey, did you go there for birth control?" She looked at the floor.
AGH! That doctor gave her birth control pills! What if she had had problems? Neither her doctor or I would have known! I couldn't take them.
She had no problems, but I was so angry! If she hadn't KNOWN they gave that stuff out, free and no questions asked, she would never have thought of it. Her boyfriend didn't even want her on birth control!!
But, taking after her stubborn mother--she stayed on it and I shut up.
But I did and still do feel like Big Brother was taking over. My hands were tied.

Still not over it--
Becky

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Author: frindon Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73143 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 10:08 AM
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Still not over it--
Becky


I know how you feel. You cannor blame the boys who have no moral upbringing and are told by authority that safe sex is OK. And it seems unfair to lay responsibility on the girls, but if they were not quite so eager to give in to the boys, then boys wouldn't be having free sex with no responsibilities. So, many boys are moving in with girls until the girls start wanting a well run establishment and complaining about the boys then..., its all off. And you have another one parent family. Well, we weren't compatable but my new partner is!! Until some small incident, and then you have another one parent family.

Frindon


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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73146 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 1:24 PM
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Isn't God great, that in spite of all that has occurred in your life, you have been saved by the blood of the cross, by the grace of our Lord?
...................

My "Brother" Urban,

Leave it to you to make lemonaide out of lemons!!!

You are absolutely right. And for those of you who found God "the Hard Way" as I did---inspite of the regrets, I'm thankful. Jesus was right, of course, when He talked about the two debtors.
I am Soooo grateful sometimes, I just start bawling--joyfully, thankfully! Because He chose me. Of all the amazing things I've seen over the years--this is the most amazing.
What's that hymn?

"Oh it is wonderful, that He should care for me, enough to die for me!
Oh it is WON-DER-FUL wonderful to me!"

There goes the Holy Spirit again!! Reminding me of the perfect song of praise! I guess I'm having "church" today!

Love You,
Becky

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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73150 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 1:54 PM
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A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.
............
Hi!
Glad you poped in long enough to post this. I don't know about MI? I'm going to call the County Clerk----this just doesn't sound right.
It needs to be recorded for people doing geneology and stuff.
When I organized and microfilmed all the Ottawa County births and marriages--they sent me to a storeroom with boxes of little scraps of paper with names and dates on them!! From the time the county began. What fun I had sorting them all out! Going back to the 1800's--different names that sounded so strange.
When I got to the "bound books" it was, flatten it on the film machine, flip it, turn the page, flatten it---Agh. I quit and told him to hire a part-time high school student who would double check page numbers and not miss anything. Boring!! I had the radio on, but could NOT stay awake! I had friends check on me in the near-by office rooms! ZZZZZZZZZZ. Becky!! OH! NOT again! Horrible.
It was so boring, one day I took off my coat and was in a slip! With a blouse. NO SKIRT!! At least it gave us all something to chuckle about! All woman office---Clerk on vacation? Not there anyway, whew!

What a goofy girl I was--OK AM!
Becky
And <lurker> guy!! Good post! Keep it up!



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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73151 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 1:59 PM
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A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.
.....................
Just, following through, here.
I just read this to the Clerk? Nope, not true--anywhere! Did that Pastor say this??
I think he needs to be reported if he's done this before. Who knows how many people he married that aren't!!!
Yikes! What a shocker!

Becky


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Author: Shadowfen Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73155 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 2:41 PM
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A marriage recorded in the family bible or other appropriate place and signed by witnesses is a legal marriage anywhere in the country. A license is NOT needed.
.....................
Just, following through, here.
I just read this to the Clerk? Nope, not true--anywhere


In a common-law state (such as Texas) all you have to do to be married is to tell someone that you are ... and poof! Common law marriage. Federally, legally recognized.

Shadowfen

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Author: jrdown Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73161 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 4:13 PM
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Becky ~

...still do feel like Big Brother was taking over. My hands were tied.

Still not over it--


I am so sorry about your experience. Big Brother is taking over and that is the frustrating part.

My kids are home schooled. Does that disqualify me from discussion or experience?


Robyn



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Author: Urban123 Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73162 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 4:36 PM
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In a common-law state (such as Texas) all you have to do to be married is to tell someone that you are ... and poof! Common law marriage. Federally, legally recognized.

That's a slight oversimplification, but your point is well-taken. There are several things a couple can do to have their union recognized by the state as a "common-law" marriage. One of which is to "present themselves" as married. That doesn't mean you walk down the street shouting, "We're married! We're married!"

It means that in an application for credit, to rent an apartment, to buy a car or some other sort of "legal" transaction, you enter the contract as a bound couple, whether you are "married" or not. The funny thing is, you aren't really considered "common law" married until one or the other tries to "enforce" the marriage, which normally only occurs when one of the partners wants to leave and the other feels hey need to go through a legal and formal "divorce" process to separate their jointly-acquired assets or, more importantly, decide on the children and child support arrangements.

Also, having a child together is not one of the things that binds them into common-law marriage. This is because it could create a sort of double-jeopardy when a married man produces a child out of an illicit affair. He's already on the hook for child-support because he's the father, but if automatic "common-law" status were also conferred, he also be guilty of polygamy. Most of our state legislature would be in jail if that occurred.
{;~ )

Thus, you can see that the apparently-liberal approach to providing for a "common law" marriage is intended to protect someone (usually the woman) from being duped into believing their partner is in for the long-term, making major financial and life commitments, only to have them attempt to walk away scot-free only because they weren't "formally" married.

Don't ask me why I know all this. I'm not a lawyer, but I have several lawyer friends. I also looked into some of this because my first child was born before my wife and I were married; my second child, after. I told you I had a sordid past, and that only by the grace of God, I am saved.

Urban

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Author: mlk58 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73163 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/6/2002 4:56 PM
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< delurk >

There is some interesting information about common-law marriage at www.nolopress.com. The common law marriage FAQ is here: http://www.nolopress.com/lawcenter/faqs/detail.cfm/objectID/709FAEE4-ABEA-4E17-BA34836388313A3C.

< lurk >

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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73181 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/7/2002 8:24 AM
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I know how you feel.
....................
Frindon,

In my daughter's case, I hate to admit it--but it was her. Her boyfriend would not go along! I have no one but him and God to thank for that.

Girls have gotten as bad as the boys and wonder why, when they get pregnant or some horrible disease why. They are doing something so intimate with people they don't even know!! I think it must make many kids feel bad after. But, they keep doing it.

I sure don't think that the school teaching sex as though it is inevitable is a good idea though. If they want to know and have parents they can't talk to, the school nurse or health dept. are there for them. Even teen magazines and books at the library give more information than they need.

I also blame myself and every parent that got divorced for making our kids think nothing lasts.

Becky

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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73182 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/7/2002 8:33 AM
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In a common-law state (such as Texas) all you have to do to be married is to tell someone that you are ... and poof! Common law marriage. Federally, legally recognized.
........................
Hi!

Looks like I'd better call the clerk back!!

I thought you had to live together for 7 years to get a common-law.
My ex and his "wife" never got married but after 7 years they said they were anyhow. But, no records unless someone goes down and gets them. Hmmmm. Who to call---not the clerk!!!

I'm very confused.

Becky


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Author: frindon Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73186 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/7/2002 9:33 AM
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I sure don't think that the school teaching sex as though it is inevitable is a good idea though. If they want to know and have parents they can't talk to, the school nurse or health dept. are there for them. Even teen magazines and books at the library give more information than they need.

I also blame myself and every parent that got divorced for making our kids think nothing lasts.

Becky


You cannot blame yourself for ever Becky. Eventually each of us makes our own decisions, influenced no doubt by a greater authority than you, the teen magazine. Mum's words are so boring. :-) Cheer up.

Frindon



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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73256 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/9/2002 8:52 AM
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You cannot blame yourself for ever Becky. Eventually each of us makes our own decisions, influenced no doubt by a greater authority than you, the teen magazine. Mum's words are so boring. :-) Cheer up.
........................

LOL--You are so right! But, I wasn't your Mum! My kids didn't talk to me about some things because they were afraid I WOULD do something! LOL
Did I ever tell you about the $80 purple boots and the graduation "dress- code"--the principal, me and the ACLU??? It will go down in Barb's history to the grandchildren!!! Maybe that is why she is soooo right wing--Makes Dr. Laura look liberal!! But, whenever she brings it up, I just say, "Then WHY did you wear the boots!!?" End of discussion.
I am blessed that they can separate my bi-polar antics from my love for God. They take me very seriously when it comes to Him--because of all the years I spent reading the Bible and telling them the stories.
Also, Dave has given them hope for that perfect marriage. They hated him at first. But he never hated them back. I have no idea how he did it. They were CRUEL! But as time went by, they just couldn't be mad any more--their mom was always happy for the first time in their lives and Dave never tried to be their Dad.
One year Barb gave him a card for his birthday? and put "Step-Dave"
on the front. He looked at that, smiled and said "Step-Dave it IS!"
I blubbered for ever--goodness, I'm blubbering now, just remembering!
13 YEARS! I feel almost stable!
The divorces---I couldn't go back and do that different. I made bad choices, learned from them and have made my peace with them both. The kids know I love their dads in a different way. The girls dad took a vision to forgive! And I still have nightmares if I have to see him--the wedding <agh> I was GOOD! Thanks to Dave, Grams, my brother and my ex-brother-in-law.(I hate the ex---he's my brother as are his brothers)
You are right. Now that I think about it again, all is well.
My life is such a trail of disasters, I forget some times. I have 3 happy children who love God---well, 2--Ben needs prayer, and his family.

Becky

HEY! Princess Margaret died in her sleep! The Queen of England, right?
Goodness, I thought she would live forever. She always looked the same to me, ever since I was a kid. How will that affect your country, Frindon??

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Author: JavaTraveler Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73258 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/9/2002 10:44 AM
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Becky,

I can not speak for frindon, but here is the deal with the royal family. Margaret's death is sad for the Queen and Queen Mother, but she has no impact on succession at this point. Prince Charles is next in line, then William, then Harry, unless William has children. Then it goes to Andrew, then Edward, and so on. Margaret and her family would be far down the list in succession.

Margaret had a history of bad health recently. Sadly she was a smoker which aggrivated everything(a good reason to not smoke). I think it is terrible sad this happens just as the Queen is celebrating her Golden Jubilee.

Hope that helps explain.

Charlie

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Author: frindon Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73260 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/9/2002 10:50 AM
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HEY! Princess Margaret died in her sleep! The Queen of England, right?
Goodness, I thought she would live forever. She always looked the same to me, ever since I was a kid. How will that affect your country, Frindon??


No, that is her younger sister. She smoked, drank and lived a very easy life. Died at 71 but didn't enjoy the last few years. Her first husband is Lord Snowdon, he is a photographer and very down to earth. Her son Vicount Linly is a furniture maker, but only makes fantastically expensive furniture. Did lots of work for Elton John, really beautiful. I don't know whether she was proud of him or not. He more or less keeps well away from the royals.

Frindon


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Author: beckyz51 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 73267 of 196899
Subject: Re: Update on Sister Date: 2/9/2002 3:03 PM
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I can not speak for frindon, but here is the deal with the royal family.
...............
Thanks--when Dave got up he told me she wasn't the queen. Also, about the Queen Mother who I didn't know was still alive. I'm learning alot today. The news is so big on scandal, I missed the important things.
Kind of like eveyday.

Becky

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