Uuurrrgh.I tried as hard as I could to read all the posts in this thread, but just couldn't do it... so please forgive me if this opinion is repetitive.In a nutshell, it seems as if your wife is not a team player. She may never be one. Whether you have the patience and stamina to deal with this is your decision. It's easier for me to say this, than for you to do it, but please don't let your affection for her blind you to the kind of person she is. (or has lately become.)This paragraph comes from experience... I would not voluntarily suggest any couple to divorce, but this may be the only option that preserves YOUR sanity. My own parents should have been divorced years ago, but one person in the relationship keeps waiting for the goodness in the other to expose itself, but it never does. One spouse is greedy, selfish, and self-centered. (all-around rude and ugly.) The other spouse constantly excuses and defends the other's behavior. Neither of us kids (2 grown adults) can understand the willingness to put up with the abuse... however there are mental health issues on both sides that are probably contributing factors within this pathetic relationship.From what you've stated, your wife doesn't respect you, your opinions, or your wishes. Respect, honesty and teamwork are qualities essential to marriage. These are only three of NUMEROUS necessary qualities, but three of the most important. (in my book, at least.)I couldn't maintain a relationship with someone who didn't respect me, and whom I do not respect in return.Where your marriage goes from here is up to you, but I would present an ultimatum, and a deadline. New counselor, new budget, etc. She helps pay off the debt she insisted on accruing. If she won't work with you on these issues, then I think doom is imminent. The only question is how much longer will you tolerate her attitude.I hope this doesn't sound too gloomy, but you seem like you're really trying, and deserve better.MH 1
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