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WARNING - Long reply

Hello January00,
Since this is an open forum I will assume that, like open AA meetings, anyone interested in our way of life is welcome. Where to begin...
You probably should consider AlAnon. Try going to a couple of meetings before totally writing it off. You may also want to pick up a copy of AA's Big Book. I don't know where you live (don't really need to), but if you are in a large city there should be a listing in your phone book for an AA Central Office. Give them a call and ask them about purchasing a copy, and/or literature, or an open meeting of AA that you can attend. This may help you to understand the disease of alcoholism. I did see paperback Big Books in Walden Books. If you are really interested and can't find one, please post again. I'll try to get you more info.

A couple of things to remember about this disease from an AA member's point of view... Denial is one of the biggest problems. The alcoholic may be pretty far along before they begin to consider that they really have a problem. Another point... myself personally, no human power could relieve my disease. I needed to adopt a spiritual way of life and begin to depend upon a higher power before I could stop drinking, stay stopped and begin to deal with life like a grownup. I still have a long way to go with that last part (just ask my DH)! <g> What I am trying to delicately say is that all your lovin', hopin' and wishin' may not be enough to open your DH's eyes. People come into recovery thru many different avenues. I don't know enough about your situation to make any recommendations other than the general suggestions I've made so far.

I hope I have helped. We who deal with this disease (whether personally or thru a loved one) walk a fine line. Myself, this disease can kill me if I ever start actively using. So if I come across overly serious it is because it is serious stuff to me. BUT I want to offer you some hope. People sometimes misunderstand what happens in AA (brainwashing, a cult, etc.). But coming from where I was (a very miserable life) to where I am now (a very good life) fills me with joy, awe and gratitude. I have made some wonderful, very supportive friends in AA. True friends who have been there for me thru thick and thin. I have the joy and peace of knowing that there is absolutely nothing that can happen to me in life that I have to handle alone. I wish more than anything you and your DH could share in this gift. Unfotunately, as with any gift, it has to be accepted before it can be opened and enjoyed. My prayers are with you. Please post again and let us know how things are going for you.
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