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Author: tpault Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 8418  
Subject: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/18/2005 5:54 AM
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In real news, CNN reports today that the U.S. has been developing non-lethal weapons since 1994. One idea that apparantly got nixed, was a drug that causes rampant homosexuality amongst the enemy.

The article does not say what advantage this would give the U.S. but apparantly someone in the Pentagon must have felt that it's easier to kick a flaming homosexual's butt than that of a heterosexual.

Other weapons they worked on included a spray that would attract biting insects, and another chemical that would cause severe bad breath. The bad breath idea is meant to make it hard for bad guys to mingle amongst us. But if bad breath does an enemy make, I'll have to shoot myself every morning.

These are real weapons that the U.S. has considered developing. The story can be seen here:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/17/arms.homosexual.reut/index.html

Your assignment, should you accept it, is to come up with your own WCD (Weapons of Crass Destruction). Be imaginative, as our government may just wind up using your idea!

My first idea: Spray low fat mayonaise on the enemy and then put them in large hoagie buns, wrapped up in Subway paper. The Jared will eat them.

Your ideas?

Paul T.
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Author: jnk96 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8333 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/18/2005 3:12 PM
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Another spray:

Gaseous SuperViagra, inducing dangerously long term <ahem> - they die of pleasure...or pain as the case may be...

or yet another one:

Gaseous Diet Drugs, the enemy dies a slow death from malnutrition...

jnk - using the power of America for Freedom

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Author: scaryblondechick Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8334 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/18/2005 10:23 PM
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How about a new medium, computer-based and interactive in nature, full of mindless content, advertising, free pornography, and message boards, designed to completely occupy the attention of anyone who gains access to it, addicting them so fully that they would rather spend their time looking at it and adding to it than anything else, including breeding or fighting?

Hey ... wait a minute ...



scary

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Author: jnk96 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8335 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/19/2005 12:01 AM
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They are now all on a Huge Reality TV Program - they have to vote each other off - thereby only leaving one enemy to fight

ok - that was a bit strange...but it came to mind

jnk

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Author: jnk96 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8336 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/19/2005 8:27 AM
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Cut off the enemies food supply lines and then drop huge amounts of cannabis and matches - they'll suffer and die (happily) of "munchies hunger"

killing with care - no pain!

jnk

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Author: Sadiekillmouski Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8337 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/19/2005 8:36 AM
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"So long Mom...I'm off to drop the bong...so don't wait up for me..."

Sadie Killmouski

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Author: ROTJob Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8338 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 1/22/2005 12:20 PM
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Sew their buttholes up so that crap starts coming out of their mouths....no wait, that already happens.


RJ

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Author: jimclark77 Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8339 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 5/25/2005 9:45 PM
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Provide free Big Macs and let them die of heart and/or liver failure.

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Author: howelljsche Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8406 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 3/15/2011 5:15 PM
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Tell all the Cajuns in Louisiana that they are:
1.) Illegal to hunt.
2.) Good to eat.
3.) And the most they can kill is 3 per day.

No more problems with the war!!!

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Author: Burley Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8407 of 8418
Subject: Re: Weapons of crass destruction Date: 3/29/2011 4:52 PM
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Welcome, howelljsche. I just gave you your first rec. :-)

Congratulations.

Not only was your post amusing, but you revived a thread that has been dormant for almost 6 years, and, if I remember correctly, I rec'ed all the other posts in this thread back in 2005 when they were first posted (personally, Sadie's "drop the bong" was my favorite).

Once again, welcome to the Fool.

Burle

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