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In real news, CNN reports today that the U.S. has been developing non-lethal weapons since 1994. One idea that apparantly got nixed, was a drug that causes rampant homosexuality amongst the enemy.

The article does not say what advantage this would give the U.S. but apparantly someone in the Pentagon must have felt that it's easier to kick a flaming homosexual's butt than that of a heterosexual.

Other weapons they worked on included a spray that would attract biting insects, and another chemical that would cause severe bad breath. The bad breath idea is meant to make it hard for bad guys to mingle amongst us. But if bad breath does an enemy make, I'll have to shoot myself every morning.

These are real weapons that the U.S. has considered developing. The story can be seen here:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/17/arms.homosexual.reut/index.html

Your assignment, should you accept it, is to come up with your own WCD (Weapons of Crass Destruction). Be imaginative, as our government may just wind up using your idea!

My first idea: Spray low fat mayonaise on the enemy and then put them in large hoagie buns, wrapped up in Subway paper. The Jared will eat them.

Your ideas?

Paul T.
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Another spray:

Gaseous SuperViagra, inducing dangerously long term <ahem> - they die of pleasure...or pain as the case may be...

or yet another one:

Gaseous Diet Drugs, the enemy dies a slow death from malnutrition...

jnk - using the power of America for Freedom
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How about a new medium, computer-based and interactive in nature, full of mindless content, advertising, free pornography, and message boards, designed to completely occupy the attention of anyone who gains access to it, addicting them so fully that they would rather spend their time looking at it and adding to it than anything else, including breeding or fighting?

Hey ... wait a minute ...



scary
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They are now all on a Huge Reality TV Program - they have to vote each other off - thereby only leaving one enemy to fight

ok - that was a bit strange...but it came to mind

jnk
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Cut off the enemies food supply lines and then drop huge amounts of cannabis and matches - they'll suffer and die (happily) of "munchies hunger"

killing with care - no pain!

jnk
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"So long Mom...I'm off to drop the bong...so don't wait up for me..."

Sadie Killmouski
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Sew their buttholes up so that crap starts coming out of their mouths....no wait, that already happens.


RJ
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Provide free Big Macs and let them die of heart and/or liver failure.
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Tell all the Cajuns in Louisiana that they are:
1.) Illegal to hunt.
2.) Good to eat.
3.) And the most they can kill is 3 per day.

No more problems with the war!!!
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Welcome, howelljsche. I just gave you your first rec. :-)

Congratulations.

Not only was your post amusing, but you revived a thread that has been dormant for almost 6 years, and, if I remember correctly, I rec'ed all the other posts in this thread back in 2005 when they were first posted (personally, Sadie's "drop the bong" was my favorite).

Once again, welcome to the Fool.

Burle
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