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Author: bookgrrl Big red star, 1000 posts Feste Award Winner! Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 2281  
Subject: Deleted Message Date: 3/22/2003 1:03 PM
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The message you're trying to access has been removed from the boards. The most likely reason for this is that the message violated our Fool's Rules about appropriate content. Either that or it was swallowed up by intergalactic space beasts from the planet Xeenu.

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Author: Suesan Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3 of 2281
Subject: Re: Welcome and suggestions for the board! Date: 3/22/2003 1:31 PM
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BG,

Just want you to know that I'm here to support everyone. I, too, sought the help of a fertility clinic 14 years ago to conceive my daugher.

I understand that giant giant giant "tug" at your soul to become pregnant.

Good luck to all,

suesan

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Author: lizmonster Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6 of 2281
Subject: Re: Welcome and suggestions for the board! Date: 3/22/2003 6:57 PM
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'd like to propose that if one of us has happy news to share, we state that in the title of the post by putting "pregnancy" or "pg" in parenthesis (e.g. "Happy news [pg mentioned]").

I think this is a wonderful idea. On the other side of it, it might be nice to also flag miscarriage information (i.e. "[mc mentioned]", or something like that) for folks who might be feeling particularly discouraged.

On a personal note: I'll probably mostly lurk here for now, although I did go through a battery of fertility tests last year (including the infamous HSG). DH and I are only just starting to try; but we've been given long odds by the MDs due to the fact that he just had a vasectomy reversal after 12 years, and I'm going to turn 39 this year. (For those who are curious, my age is considered more likely to be problematic than the length of time since his original vasectomy.) I am, however, fully qualified to grouse about the occasional insensitivity of the medical profession . ;-/

Thanks for starting the board, BG.

-lizmonster

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Author: snippee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 8 of 2281
Subject: Re: Welcome and suggestions for the board! Date: 3/22/2003 10:19 PM
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BG,

I'm so glad you started this board! Congrats. :)

I'll be 33 in July and so am nearing that dastardly ol' 35 - and DH (who will be 32 in August) won't let me forget it. However, we would rather wait and reach certain financial and professional goals first rather than "taking advantage" of our fertile years. We think we'll be starting in the next two years and are hoping for the best.

Only in the last few months have i come to terms with what being pregnant/being a parent entails. It always seemed so far out in the future. Then, i turned 30. Then, all my friends started having babies. Then, i learned all the nitty-gritty details that go with pregnancy and motherhood that only your bestest pals will tell you. Then, i totally freaked out (and DH wasn't the least bit empathetic!) and told DH that i would only consider adoption. Then, i got over it. I think.

(Of course, if the powers that be decide to play a l'il joke on us and i get pregnant unexpectedly, we'll deal with it joyously!)

Anyway, since i'm no spring chicken, it's entirely possible that we'll/i'll experience some fertility problems. Forewarned is forearmed, i always say. I'll mostly lurk, i imagine, though i've already got an idea for my first question...stay tuned!

Looking forward to our interactions. Best wishes/kind thoughts/positive vibes to all of you!

snippee
not ready for prime time parenting

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Author: wrnglrjan Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30 of 2281
Subject: Re: Welcome and suggestions for the board! Date: 3/24/2003 12:36 PM
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Fellow Fools and friends, welcome to this board. I know that I, for one, really need to be here.

*waving*


Me, too.


You and I are on a similar track, bookgrrl, as you know. Well, except your track is a little better planned, organized and researched than mine, I think. I'm just winging it so far.

Here's my story, for them what's interested:

I've been married 10 years. We have always intended to have children "as soon as we can", intending to get our finances, etc. in order first. Hubby took an incredibly long time to get through college (he started after a four-year stint in the Navy), so we'd been waiting. He still doesn't have permanent work, btw, but we've given up on waiting for the "perfect" time.


Last February I got pregnant by accident. We found out mid-March. April 9 I had some spotting, went for an ultrasound and was told that the pregnancy was not viable. I had what's called a "blighted ovum" which in layman's terms means the egg was fertilized and implanted, but no embryo ever developed. I had a D&C the next day.

I am slightly ashamed to admit that I was not devastated. I was still very much in the "freaking out about being pregnant" stage when it happened. Hubby was. Devastated, that is.

We decided to wait until after summer to try again. (The beauty of getting pregnant by accident is that you lose any concern about being able to get pregnant.) In October, I got pregnant again (we are really lucky in that we're having no trouble at all conceiving), this time on purpose. We had an ultrasound right away that confirmed the pregnancy and another a couple of weeks later that showed a fetus with an active heartbeat and signs of another pregnancy with no heartbeat. The doctor sent me back for a third ultrasound two weeks after that, to determine whether or not the second pregnancy was viable. (Apparently it's very common that women start out with more than one implanted, fertilized egg, and one only actually develops a viable embryo/fetus.) When we went back, there was no longer a heartbeat in the "healthy" pregnancy either. Another D&C - this time just before Christmas. This time I was devastated, but hubby seems to be handling it a little better.

When I had the second and third ultrasounds, the technicians had seen signs of me having a bicornuate (horned) uterus. This can apparently be a factor in recurrent miscarriage, so it's of concern to the doctor. He says he did not see any sign of horns when he did my D&C, and he thinks he would. So I still don't know where I stand on that.

Anyway, the doctor recommended that we wait to try to get pregnant again until we had the whole uterus shape issue ironed out. There's a period of time after the pregnancy ends where the uterus is still stretched out of shape, so we had to wait a few months before testing for the bicornuate uterus. Actually, I'm having that test tomorrow.

In the meantime, damn near every single woman of childbearing age that I know has conceived and appears to be carrying a healthy pregnancy. *sigh* Not that I wish this on anybody, but does it just have to be me that has problems? There are, I kid you not, six babies in my immediate "get together every time we can" family. I'm still not sure I'm emotionally ready to handle the risk of being pregnant again (and that's how I see it now - as a risk, not as a period of anticipation - sad, isn't it?) so I don't know how soon we'll decide to try, even if it turns out I don't have any mechanical problems.

Thanks for starting this up, BG. Betcha we aren't the only ones who need it.


Jan

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