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We're starting with Clomid (sp?) and AI for three cycles; she wants to then go to FSH/IUI but I think we should go straight to IVF (I'm a bit uncomfortable with selective reduction).

I'm curious why you would want to go straight to such an invasive procedure. I also think that since it's her who will have to undergo the procedure, her vote should count more than yours. As I have gone through this route, I can attest to the fact that it's invasive as well as humiliating, and if you can spare some of that, I think you are better off. Plus, it seems like you think there are better chances of multiples with IUI than with IVF. With IVF, they will typically put back four eggs, so you're already increasing the likelihood of multiples, but I don't remember the exact percentages.

Anyhow, in your shoes, I think I would defer to her judgement about what procedures she wants to undergo. In our case, for instance, I declared we were only going to do one cycle of GIFT after our 5 years of trying everything else. I was tired and worn-out, and anesthesia typically makes me quite ill, so I was not looking forward to multiple surgeries for multiple GIFT attempts. My vote, in this case, counted more than DH's, and that was our plan. We got lucky, however, that I conceived the twins in that one cycle [they put back 3 eggs], but we were fully prepared to live child-free had that not been successful, and I was convinced it wasn't since I got what I thought were menstrual cramps but were really implantation cramps.
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