What are you talking about??? I'm not single handedly taking the blame for not controlling household expenses we BOTH contributed. This family belongs to the both of us. I don't work outside the house but I work like a dog on the inside and raising four kids and ALL that goes with that. I do all that. I am tired I fall into bed exhausted from how much work I do.

I'm sorry, I meant take some blame as part of getting your husband on board the spending control changes & plans. It's almost certainly both of y'all's fault, and it doesn't matter if it's 50-50 or 60-40 or 70-30. I just meant as a practical matter in dealing with someone who you have indicated might be resistant to change.

Who pays the bills? (I'm guessing that you do.) When I say"sort fo take the blame" I'm thinking as simple as:

"I should have told you about this sooner. Here's the deal. Sorry I let this get to this point. Here's the raw numbers. I have some ideas. I need some ideas from you . . ."

I suppose you and he could go through the years of credit card statements and figure out who's more at fault, but what would that really accomplish?