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Author: CristyneS Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308881  
Subject: Re: Gifting to sister: told me so? Date: 9/12/2005 1:41 PM
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What you have to realize is that your sister is a spender. She will spend way above her means. If you haven't already, you need to buy or borrow 'Millionaire Next Door' and read that chapters on Economic Outpatient Care (EOC), and force your mother to read it as well. The author of the book was studying the children of millionaires to see if they too become millionaires. What he found is that if the parents gave a lot of money over the years to their children, mostly so that their children "wouldn't have to struggle like they did" or to "give them a leg up". It actually hurt their children's chances to become successful. The children learned that mommy and daddy would take care of them no matter what, and didn't learn the drive and/or money management skills that it takes to be an adult. They ended up living above their means with mommy and daddy making up the difference.

You sister is not a free spirit, she is spoiled. She just got $100K from your mom that made her debts magically disappear and (when she realizes it) 20 grand from you as extra spending money. You mom didn't do her any favors is taking care of her debt before she got married. The money wasn't her problem, her behaviour was the problem. She feels she can do anything she wants because she knows that someone will bail her out. I would wager that her husband refused, and placed limits on her. Your spoiled sister couldn't live with that, and her husband couldn't continue to live with a three year old. (I want it! I want it now!)

Just like you don't give an alcoholic a drink, you don't give a spender money. Hopefully you and your mom learned your lesson. There are a lot of good money management books and courses out there that your sister can learn from. Personally, I like Dave Ramsey, but some people don't. Different things work for different people. Hopefully your sister can learn before it is too late. Hopefully before she causes herself and others more pain (and cash).

-Matt
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Matt,
I could not agree with you more on this. I do remember this situation when it was originally posted last year and I could never understand why the family keeps getting involved with her fincances. She is a grown woman!

Christine
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