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When DH's mother-in-law started acting irrational we sold her car and used the money to pay off her credit cards. She lives in an apartment for the elderly (NOT assisted living) that has a dining hall and bus service. We didn't want her to cause an accident that would hurt someone and leave her liable.
My dad has Parkinsons and luckily he knows he can't drive anymore - he made that decision, we didn't have to.

If we had that option, that's the way we'd go, except at this point her driving is fine and aside from wanting to remember everything in the past with rose-colored glasses, she seems to be on top of things.

One thing I do want to mention is that putting her in any sort of assisted living/senior facilty is not in the cards. A few years ago she took out a reverse mortgage on her house. If she moves out, she has to sell it and give the proceeds to the company she did the mortgage with. The house is not in an area that will allow her to sell it as a residence. The best she can hope for is to sell it as commercial property, but even then, she won't get as much out of it as she owes against it.

So if anything happens to her, I will have to move her in with us. If I move her in with us, given that we have no place to put her, my husband will move out. I am not willing to give up my husband and kick one of my kids out of the house to move my mother in with me. If that makes me an awful daughter, well, then I'm an awful daughter.

I've watched my mother spend money like there was no tomorrow while she was married to my dad, and my stepdad. She blew through her inheritence like it was water, now at 83, the proverbial chickens are coming home to roost, but unless I suddenly win the lottery (and I don't even play), there is no way we can afford to put her into any sort of senior facility and no way she can move in with us.

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