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Author: NaggingFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 529  
Subject: When to let a friendship go? Date: 9/5/2008 1:48 PM
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I am having a lot of trouble with one of my (former) friends. She says she really wants to make up and be part of each other's lives again, but she has a lot of conditions that are hard for me to meet.

And I'm willing to work on those things, because her friendship is important to me.

But then she says things like "why bother trying? You're better off sticking with friends who don't have problems. Just give up on me so I can stop hoping and hurting."

And I get angry and frustrated.

How come she gets to decide whether I care about her?
Will there ever be a point where I can stop proving to her I care?

The things she wants me to do will be difficult, and they will endanger another friendship I have had for a long time (it's a horrible love triangle thing, please don't make me explain.) While I'm willing to do that for her, I'm not willing to do that and have her decide it's not enough.

Is there any way I can decide that I'm done without giving in to her sense of worthlessness? Does anyone have a primer on abandoment issues I can read in a couple of hours? :-) Is it ever ok to decide to give up on a friendship because maintaining it will be too painful?

- Megan
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