No. of Recommendations: 5
When we approached Dad's health care provider with our concerns about Dad's mania, (Sis had health care POA,) he told us that was sometimes a side effect of being under anesthesia for long periods of time.

Was not aware of this possibility. Could have been a part of the problem.

Yes, I know this is yet another slippery slope, but believe me when I say that no matter how rational you think you are now, there is no guarantee of how you will behave later as the physical and emotional stresses of aging take over. In addition some states with their filial responsibility laws will first prevent you from keeping your parents from putting their finances in jeopardy, then give you the bill for their care after they have made themselves insolvent.

ChiliSpouse's dad did not have diagnosed dementia, but he came very close to putting them in the poor house with awful financial decisions. I don't want to say his death was a good thing at all but, had he not died when he did, the financial disaster would have just escalated, helped by a questionable FA. His dad was so controlling and paranoid that CS's mom didn't even have the ATM code and, until CS instructed her to write herself a check at the bank, had no access to cash for weeks at a time when he was hospitalized repeatedly.

CS's mom, at 86, was fortunate to have a well-educated son with great financial acumen. He handled and continues to handle everything for her and, in 2 1/2 years, has managed to get her finances in decent shape. She is no longer (justifiably) terrified of running out of money.

After my grandfather died, my grandmother put everything into a trust at the local bank. I have to hand it to them. She was in an expensive nursing home for more than 5 years and died with a much larger estate than was there when my grandfather died 15 years before.

Aging causes all kinds of stress, and it's the fortunate elder who is mentally alert enough to be able to determine who is trustworthy to take care of them and their finances. I know that as I age, I worry about falling victim to the heartless greed of others.

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