whoa! i leave for two hours look what ensues! :)i really appreciate the frank and honest replies. i had been thinking about a lot of what you talked about.... specificially about the fact that i don't *need* a $9,000 wedding. it's just the wedding i have been thinking about ever since i was a little girl. :( i do believe those who say that it's not about the frills of a ceremony, it's about the person you are marrying. it's just hard, because i'd really like to get married in hawaii, beach, etc. a luxury, i know.ok, to respond to what some of you have said:i'm not sure why i have two morgages. i am young, so this first purchase was a whirlwind. i tried to ask as many questions as possible, but man, it was tough to get everything. i think it's because my morgage broker was trying to avoid me having to pay PMI (insurance, right?).motivies for relationship are good. we've been together for 5 years and he's really the one that took a leap of faith on that purchase. at the time we bought, he was in grad school, so it made more sense for us to use my credit (since i was working and he had no income) so although he and his parents contributed to the downpayment, his name is not on the morgage/title. he has been really supportive in our (my) mission to get us out of debt. why am i in debt: i made bad decisions right after i got out of college. put too much on my cc for start-up costs instead of trying to work with what i had. i'd say my weakness is that i occasionally make impulse purchases (ha! irony of wedding!), though i have curbed that in the last year.we, together, put between $400-500 towards cc each month. such a waste!!!!!!!!whew, i think that's it. thanks again for your two cents.