UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (22) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next
Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 37076  
Subject: Why I didn't make calzones... Date: 4/14/2008 1:20 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 151
One of the "Once-A-Month-Cooking" recipes is for Calzones. You buy frozen bread dough, defrost it, cut the dough into pieces, roll them out, blah blah blah.

I purchased the bread dough on Saturday. I left it on the counter overnight, for fear that it wouldn't defrost completely in the fridge before I needed it on Sunday. Note to self: this is not a good idea.

To truly understand the vision I was greeted with this morning, you need to visualize the packaging. Imagine a package of hamburger buns. You know the ones? Rectangular plastic bag with a square plastic fastener to hold it shut? This is like that. Inside, on a tray, are three loaves of bread dough.

Anyone who has made bread, and most people who haven't, know that dough expands. Especially in a warm, moist environment. Like the type of environment provided by a kitchen in which spaghetti was simmering for 2 hours. In California where the days are in the 80's. In other words, anyone with half a brain would have expected this. I, who have baked bread, should definitely have thought it through.

I didn't.

The dough rose. And rose. And filled the confines of the plastic bag. And pushed/broke/manhandled the plastic fastener off the package. And continued expanding. And reached the end of the bag. And kept going, but now with room to expand more.

Okay, you really need to visualize this. The bag is now a cylinder filled with dough. Where the dough comes out the end of the bag, it has mushroomed out a bit. Since there was more than one loaf in the bag, there is a seam down the center of the mushroom head.

Am I explaining this well enough? No? Let me be blunt. I called my best friend and said, "On my kitchen counter is a 3-foot long [male organ]!!!"

Still can't really picture it? Here's the pic, as captured on my phone at 6 this morning by a very shocked, helplessly giggling, me:

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/1866/a3footpenisdp5.jpg

What a way to start my day!


Frydaze1
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post  
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (22) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next

Announcements

Post of the Day:
Apple

Apple and Ninety Years Ago
What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Community Home
Speak Your Mind, Start Your Blog, Rate Your Stocks

Community Team Fools - who are those TMF's?
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and "#1 Media Company to Work For" (BusinessInsider 2011)! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement