This isn't meant to be mean, an attack, a judgement, or any determination of your personality.Have you ever thought about getting some professional counseling? You joined TMF four days ago and have made 95 posts, each of which seems to have you taking a different direction. 80% of CCCC's traffic in the last four days is you and your problems. Besides the advice, which is pretty standard, (stop spending, cut all but the necessities (wants are not needs) and pay off the credit cards) the vast majority of people are telling you stop, take a breath, think, backoff, weigh the options, but you do none of these things. Instead you race from one topic to another, another action which may or may not take you in the wanted direction, always posting, seemingly many times with a rationalization for your behavior. I feel like I am watching an impending car wreck. You would suggest you stop posting for a day or two; just digest the information. And maybe see if you can't find some downtime to reevaluate what it is you are really trying to attain and how and who can help get you there.I wish you well.Leighsah
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