No. of Recommendations: 29

You wrote, If his parents actually read his bank statements, or spy on his accounts, or subject him to cross-examination about his money habits, then there are certainly ways around this, and we've pointed them out. ...

I think there's a bit more to it than this...

I would bet his parents feel he owes them because he is living at home at their expense. I also suspect he can't keep his mouth shut when he has money in the bank and it's not simply them being nosy. And I bet they feel getting him to buy them things when he has money is their just reward for letting him live there when times are tough.

And of course some parents get addicted to the petty power that comes from manipulating their children and don't want to lose their control over them... And some children enable this behavior.

In any case if he can't deal with it, he could get out and get an apartment. And if they really wanted to be fair with him, they'd ask them to pay room and board instead of asking for lots of petty items in repayment. And if he wanted to be fair, he'd offer rent even if they didn't ask. If nothing else, it would give him the moral high-ground to refuse when they ask for him to buy them things with his money. Instead he could respond by repeating his offer for rent to divert the issue.

But of course I'm expecting all parties to act rationally ... which might be a bit too much to expect.

- Joel
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