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Hey Frissy,

I'd like to talk about this virginity thing, and about you in general. If you can keep from responding to loser boys, it might be a productive and enlightening discussion. I'm not doing this to bait you and I'll try to be less mean than usual.

So, tell us about yourself. Specifically, what's the deal with your using your status as a virgin as an identity and branding strategy? I've known people who have acted like this and it makes no sense to me; they talk incessantly about being a virgin, how virgins do this or think that or whatever (like you're a different race or species or something).

Now, I know you're not one of these Mary Whatsername who advocates no kissing or handholding for two years, nor do I think you're a virgin for freaky repressed religious reasons. Also, I've seen your pictures (e.g. the one with your hair twisty thing) and you're attractive*, so it's not like you couldn't get laid if you really wanted to.

And yet it's virgin this and virgin that. So my questions are:

1. Do you secretly want to NOT be a virgin, but are just doing the Virgin And Proud Of It thing to justify the fact that you haven't had sex yet at the age of [whatever--early 30's maybe?]

2. I had this friend who pretended to her parents she was pure and virginal so they would continue to love her and support her, but secretly she ****ed every guy in the biology department and half of the English department, but would then announce to [name of guy du jour] that she didn't believe in premarital sex. Are you doing this, only without the actual sex? Do you think that if you went ahead and did the nasty, you'd have somehow betrayed your former convictions, even though you have possibly now outgrown them?

3. Or are you serious about saving it for marriage, and just can't shut up about it? Are you this yakkety-yakkety about every other thing in your life, and Virgin And Proud Of It is just one of those things?

4. Are you saving it for the wedding night, or for when he gives you a Big Diamond Ring? Or do you have another milestone indicator?

5. Other (please explain).

Your new friend,


*note to all the people who make sport of frissy for being fat: yeah, she's overweight. She admits it and she talks about it. A lot of people are overweight and yet they still manage to have sex and even have other people fall in love with them and be attracted to them. As much fun as it is to mock the roly-poly, I think maybe those who mock frissy are doing it because she's obnoxious and frequently clueless. Heck, maybe they're mocking her because she's fat and still basically likes herself and maybe even thinks of herself as cute, instead of properly self-loathing because we all know fat people are weak and stupid and don't deserve the right to the happiness reserved for the rest of us. This is pure speculation, but you know what I mean.
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